November 19th. It’s “the” date. A week before Thanksgiving, and the start of the holiday season. The weather has turned cold, the leaves are off the trees, halloween is over, My work begins to slow down, as does the seemingly endless string of summer and early fall weekends where we have plans with family and friends. For all intents…
Blog
Stress
I have a lot going on right now and I am feeling extremely stressed out. Life in general is not going well for my youngest daughter, and in order to help her cope I have decided to leave work and stay home with her for her second semester of school this year. Also, I have just found out that I require surgery on Dec 7th which will take me out…
Revisiting the “First” Thanksgiving
Since coming back from Camp Widow Toronto, the upcoming holiday season has been on my mind a lot. I met so many new widows in Toronto. So many who are enduring the horror of their first holiday season without their person this year. As I sat down this morning to write, I began thinking, just what could I share that might resonate with anyone out…
Present and Accounted For
It’s been a weird week. It seldom happens to me, not because I think I’m invulnerable to feeling weird or down, but mostly because my mind is too consumed in what I’m doing to pay those emotions any attention. My mind is a strong one. That’s not me bragging. It’s just true. But even strong minds have their limits. This…
Irrelevant
This past weekend was Camp Widow Toronto. I went there on a 9 hour car ride from Massachusetts, with me and 3 other people. We had an unforgettable experience. We met new friends, and reunited with old ones. We had moments of healing, and moments of helping heal others. We ate yummy food. We laughed without apology. And cried without shame.
Going With It
The big news is, we found a place to rent here in Kona that has agreed to the dogs. It’s only up the block, so moving should be relatively easy. It’s expensive…but thankfully my boyfriend is with us for all the support both emotional and financial that it will entail. It has not come easy. It took weeks for the owner to come around to us…
Dreaming On, and Singing this New Life to Me~
I finally had a moment to watch Michele’s keynote address from Toronto this week. As always, it touched me to my bones. It made me stop and consider, in my own life…what dreams did Chuck and I have? Have I continued his dream? Have I dreamed my own dreams? And, as I considered, my hand drifted down to my right leg, where, on the outside…
I Dream of Wandering
“I dream of wandering” That was the simple, unpolished statement written upon my paper heart at Camp Widow. Sarah and I were a large part of the message release there…constructing the large heart, cutting out all of the smaller ones, mounting it in the banquet area, and being the first two to place our torn dreams in front of the rest of…
We Didn’t Win
My youngest daughter is 16. She was 13 years old when she found out her Dad was dying. She was 14 when he actually died. I’m sure it goes without saying that every moment of her life since the day she found out he was sick has been a challenge. A challenge that most adults would be unable to manage, and yet this girl manages. She is…
A New Dawn
I’m writing this a bit late today, but for a very good reason. As I type this, Mike and I are driving back from Toronto. For the past few days, we’ve been enjoying the company of so many beautiful, brave people here at Camp Widow Toronto… some of who may be reading these words. If you’ve never been, I can assure you, this gathering of love and…
Reality
I stood completely alone in a crowded room. I do a lot of that these days. I suppose I want to feel something, anything, other than what I was feeling. Life has a tricky way of deciding when it will allow us to feel a certain way or not. Some things I feel can be a conscious choice perpetuated into reality. A small lot, however, rears their…
The Late Shift
I can’t sleep. I worked the late shift again, my usual schedule these days at the restaurant, so I’m not too surprised. Trying to sleep before one in the morning these days is difficult, when I don’t get home til half past 10 at the earliest. One does need to downshift for a bit after work, regardless of the hours. But this time it’s like…