I recently heard about another widow I know …widowed after me … she has found someone new. She is quite in love. This makes me sad.Not about her happiness. Just that I am nowhere NEAR being there. I don’t even want to look for someone new, even though I just want to be happily married again Right Now. ….but I want to be happily married to…
widowed perspective
Weirdly Emotional ….
(This is a post I wrote 10 months after Jim died. It still applies.) This is one of those pictures that doesn’t need any words about love. It’s there. OK, let me just warn you upfront. This is going to be a weird post. I’m going to try to explain something that I felt yesterday but I don’t really know how to explain it, and I wonder how…
Like a Hurricane
It’s been 812 days since I last kissed my angel. After she was diagnosed, we were lucky to live life large for 850 days. Like so many other difficult things (dealing with chemo treatments, watching her deteriorate over time, holding her that day, her death, living without her), it is so hard to get my head around how much time has passed; it’s…
The Look of Love.
I have been missing Michael terribly today. I’m not sure why, but it was one of those days where my heart just didn’t want to accept that he is indeed gone.Throughout the day I kept picturing him looking deep into my eyes. I kept feeling his gaze, and kept sensing his touch. It will be two years in September, yet these days still arrive where I…
Mattering
She says to me “Kim, you’re important. Other widows want to meet you. They ask if you will be there.” I was talking to Michele, the founder of this blog, Camp Widow, Widow’s Village and Soaring Spirits Foundation. She was trying to convince me to come to widow camp. I wasn’t going. Even though I live just two hours away. I wasn’t…
Potter
One of the things I started after Michael died was our “Date Nights”. It usually consists of a movie and a five course dinner with wine pairings throughout it. It’s amazing. From “Birds” to all three “Lord of the Ring” to “Chocolat” I sit there with an empty set next to me and savor every moment.But, as I’ve embraced life once more, I’ve found time…
return of the numbness
Written four months after Jeff’s death…. I don’t know if it’s normal to have the vague fuzzy feeling like thinking through a pillow re-emerge four months after a death happens. But it has. I feel as if I’m trying to catch glimpses of things as I spin in circles. I can see that things are there but the edges blur and smudge together. I’m late…
My name is Amanda and this is my story…
I met my soul-mate on February 6, 1993: it was love at first sight. Greg was the fun-loving, farm-boy to my shy, inquisitive city-girl. He was an engineer who loved all things mechanical and I was in the midst of my PhD in eco-botany. We just clicked straight away and seemed always to know what the other was thinking.We married in 1997 and after…
So Today I Bought a Shirt ….
…. which really isn’t newsworthy (or blog-worthy) in and of itself. But I think that all of you will understand why I felt the need to write about it …. and to show it to you: Looks like a simple enough t-shirt, right? Other than the fact that there’s a heart on it, which gives me mixed feelings. Mostly because I haven’t visualized…
Castaway
Sorry for another movie reference, but this one has been on my mind. Remember the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks? I was reminded of this movie just last week because of a dream I had. Remember how in the movie he returns after being presumed dead for years? His girlfriend of many years has married, and she now has a child, a family…she’s moved on.
Grief from A Child
This is what Ezra has to say about grief. He wants you to pay attention. He’s nine. He was 7 by three weeks when Art died. M=Mom, aka KimE: It’s scary whenever I go to sleep because I’m afraid I will be dreaming about daddy. M: Why do you not like that? E: Cause then every morning I wake up and I realize that he’s never coming back and it’s…
Easy
To put it simply…every action, every breath, every second of my life after Michael’s death was one thing and one thing only…hard. Okay, I should re-phrase….torture, painful, unbearable and hard to imagine surviving even a day. But an amazing thing happened today…like most things, it’s something I’ve noticed in passing since becoming a…