When did you clean out your husband’s closet? (For our new readers: Over the past several years I have interviewed many widows about their day-to-day life after the loss of their husbands. I asked all of the women I spoke to the same fifty questions, all practical inquiries about everyday life. Many readers have asked me to share my answers to…
widowed healing
A Lighter Shade of Grey ….
Today’s post is really for all of the “newer” women who are on this path …… the one we didn’t want to be on, the club we didn’t want to join. I was trying to think of what to say to a new friend whose husband died a few months ago. She is in the middle of what I call the “black”. I am not a veteran in this process, by any stretch of the…
Help is Better with Self
I believe for me, that a huge part of figuring out one’s grief, one most know themselves. Now I know some could say this goes without saying, but after the loss of your soul mate it’s difficult finding out who this new you is, or in my case, who this new me is. It is has been through meeting others in like situations, reflecting on my own thoughts…
Indifferent
Indifferent: Lack of feeling. Being neither too much nor too little. Neither good nor bad. Neither right nor wrong. Journal entry this week: I wish I was upset, but I’m not. I wish I felt sad, but I don’t. Depressed?…don’t think so. I want to cry, but I can’t. Scream… but I won’t. I feel so out of place. Maybe this is it. I’ve finally snapped.
Sometimes I talk to him ….
Yes ….. sometimes I talk to Jim. This is a new experience for me. I’ve been a widow for over 16 months and I’ve never really “talked” to him …. until recently. I couldn’t do it before. I couldn’t believe that he could see and hear me. After all, I have no doubt that he is in Heaven …. no doubt at all. And I have no doubt that there…
W.S.M.
What is a W.S.M.? A little acronym I came up with which stands for: Widow Soul Mate After losing Michael I had the fear of never meeting anyone else who could or would understand the pain, love, and grief that I was feeling. Luckily with my line of work, I have met many amazing people who are the epitome of survivors. In my travels through…
Things Change …..
… whether you want them to or not. I mean —- obviously, right? I decided to carry forward with both Michele’s post and Michelle’s post. After Jim died I never considered removing my wedding rings. Never. I felt it would be on my finger forever. And for many, many months it was. And then one day ….. that feeling changed. I know that I am still…
My Favorite Trail
Long Canyon Trail, in my hometown of Simi Valley, is one of my favorite places. This beautiful dirt road has been pounded by my feet on many a run. It is also the place where Phil and I most often rode our mountain bikes, went for evening runs, took the kids for night hikes looking for frogs, and did many a “double workout” on the steep hills that…
My Circle …
This picture is from our last vacation …. we went to Alaska in June of 2007. Jim died in December, 5 months later. I love this picture because it really “shows” us. We didn’t know it was being taken and were just enjoying some quiet time together. We held hands …. all of the time. I hate how empty my hand feels now. And this is the…
Still Looking for Signs
The weather on the day of Daniel’s funeral was spectacular. It was early November, 75 degrees and beautifully sunny. When they covered his grave, all of the funeral flowers were placed on top of it. Although the service was long over, family and friends still lingered, and no one seemed ready to leave. I know for me it was a finality I wasn’t yet…
Happy Easter?
Wishing someone a good day or a nice holiday weekend seems innocuous enough most of the time…but as a new widow well meant wishes from family, friends or strangers struck me like arrows. How exactly am I supposed to have a good day? Why do I care about this holiday? Have you forgotten for a moment that my husband is dead? Some days I could accept…
Pennies from Heaven
Years ago I was walking with a friend and we came upon a dime lying on the ground. Seeming disappointed, she stooped to pick up the coin saying she thought it was a penny. When I asked why she wanted a penny, she looked up at me and said, “Don’t you know the story of pennies from heaven?” After I told her that I’d heard the phrase, but didn’t know…