after all that’sbeen happeningthe last week, i’m pretty sickof talking about myself, so here’s lifeas viewed throughsomeone else’s eyes.(i’m pretty proud of her).
widowed dad
Ranting & Raving. But Not Mad.
I sat earlier in the week in my parent’s living room. I watched as my mother struggled to move about the house with her walker. I watched as my father tried to anticipate her every move. I saw how carefully he has to think about where she will sit, and will she feel comfortable there. I sat as she talked about her pain. I sat as her thoughts became…
for madeline.
on saturday some of the most important people in our lives will be with us as we celebrate maddy’s third birthday. again. (yeah, maddy’s birthday sort of runs from her actual birthdate of march 24th to her estimated due date of mid may). she and her friends will be beating a piñata, eating cupcakes, and throwing things around our backyard…
Yellow Roses
The day this posts, April 11th, is my daughter’s 20th birthday. No longer a teenager. Maybe not quite a full adult, but a day to let her know how much I love her, and how I wish for only good things in her future. Rather than buy her some new gadget, I decided to spend a little extra, and let her know what I truly thought of her. She is my diamond.
one week from today.
i’m one week away from the day that my gift to madeline becomes something that people will publicly judge, both positively and negatively. some will praise the “story,” some will criticize the writing. some will find something to relate to and others will wonder how the hell i “did it.” i’m ready for all of that, but more than …
Disappointment
I received an email from a friend today. She decided that she needed to be direct with me about the status of our friendship. She said that she doesn’t know how to be in a friendship with me anymore, and that she has felt this way ever since Michael died. She feels like any pain, loss, disappointment or loneliness that she has experienced in her…
march 24th.
i made the decisionto carry on atradition that i startedin 2009…to take mymaddy on a tripfar away from everything, to ensure thatthe focus be onher and herbirthday, rather than the day that follows. i’m happy to say, i succeeded. (i’m one lucky dad).
missing toys.
early last week a couple of maddy’s toys went missing. a zebra stuffed animal and her baby doll. for a few days she asked me where they’d gone. i had no idea.her stuff goes missing all the time, and i usually find it pretty quickly. i’ve searched everywhere for them. they’re not in any of the usual places (i’m convinced they disappeared at…
Still A Toddler
Well, it’s Sunday night, and I just realized I needed to get to writing my Monday post. I have kept very busy today with home improvement projects. And, because of Spring being at my door, I have been miserable with allergies. I seem to be popping Benadryl all day long, as if they were breath mints, which is likely why I have been so drowsy all day…
march.
three years ago, my first march in this house. overwhelmed by circumstances, unaware of what i was in for. liz in her bed at the hospital, madeline still waiting to arrive. the flowers blooming in our yard… grapefruit, lemon and orange blossoms. the yellow flowers on the vine. the jasmine bush and that tree in the back i thought was…
slowing down.
i think a lot about how madeline helped get me through those first horrible days/weeks/months, and almost three years later, she’s still doing it.i’d be nowhere without her, still stuck in the moment that happened the day after she was born. without consciously doing so, she has convinced me of the need to slow down and enjoy the little…
And the Oscar goes to…
No, I’m not watching The Academy Awards. Not that it doesn’t interest me. I used to be one of those people who saw every single film nominated, even the foreign and sometimes documentary. I love film, and I love story telling, but that love, those interests, are part of those things that have dropped by the wayside. Friends and family are still…