Well here I am at Camp Widow in beautiful Tampa. Today I attended round table discussions on ‘being widowed by suicide’, ‘being widowed without the chance to have children’ and ‘signs and synchronicity’. I met some wonderful, inspiring people and told my story a couple of times. And I didn’t cry once. This last point is making me feel VERY…
widowed community
No Circle
Not sure what I want to write about tonight, but I will begin by telling you where I am. Lobby of Marriott hotel, Tampa, Florida. Attending and presenting my comedic performance for the 6th time at Camp Widow. All of the camp events officially begin in the morning, but Ive been here since yesterday afternoon, and have already reconnected with old…
Traveling My New Path
As I write this, I’m sitting in a plane, flying from Los Angeles to New York. I’m back in the USA for Camp Widow East next weekend and decided to make a holiday off it, fulfilling a life-long dream of visiting the Big Apple. This is my second trip to the states and again I find it very emotional to be here without Dan, as it reminds me of all…
I Shall Wear Purple…
Many years ago Mike and I were having lunch at a local restaurant here in Kona when a bevy of ladies filed in all dressed up in purple dresses and big red hats. I stared, mouth agape, in utter astonishment and fascination. What were they doing coming out dressed like that? It was the first time I’d seen the Red Hatters and I was instantly…
And Then There was Love
I’m almost in Tampa for Camp Widow, arriving early from Arizona. This has been a long road trip for me, and taxing in a different way from my previous travels, emotionally. Perhaps it’s the knowing that this really will be for me, as so many have assured me, a life-changing weekend. This grief is exhausting and I want it to shift for me but…
An Odyssey Towards Camp Widow
There is no getting around the silence. It’s tangible and fraught with emotions. We can dress it up however we wish, but the silence that consumes every corner after our beloveds die is, almost, as palpable as their presence once was.I’m on the road again, headed to Camp Widow in Tampa, driving PinkMagic. My intention is to stay primarily at…
A Monument of Memory
“Sitting on the floor, I’d replay the past in my head. Funny, that’s all I did, day after day after day for half a year, and I never tired of it. What I’d been through seemed so vast, with so many facets. Vast, but real, very real, which was why the experience persisted in towering before me, like a monument lit up at night. And the thing was, it…
Circle of Remembrance
Last Friday our local Kona Hospice hosted their annual Circle of Remembrance event at Hulihe’e Palace. I didn’t go last year; I think it was all just too raw for me then, but this year I felt myself drawn there. I’ve been taking part in their grief counseling services for over a year now which is free for spouse and child loss. We are incredibly…
My Heart
My heart is raw. It breaks open easily. It doesn’t take much. Another memory of the life I lost when Mike died. Another tragic story from another new member of our terrible club. Another heartbreak from a fellow widow having made the effort to find new love and life and been hurt. Another day of pain and sadness in a friend’s ongoing attempt to…
Trying to Keep an Open Heart
I just want to be alone so much lately. I’ve always been a bit introverted, but I literally haven’t wanted to be around anyone at all lately – and that’s not like me. For me, it can be so easy to just close off from the world. I know it’s one of those things I have to be careful about keeping in check. Particularly as an artist – it is extremely…
Here I Go Again on My Own
Being here in the United States on my own this week has been a very enlightening experience. I have had moments of feeling vulnerable and isolated and also moments of incredible confidence, like I can take on the world. After my husband died it’s been a struggle to adjust to being alone again. I know I can do things without him – I just don’t…
A World of Support: Camp Widow
When I found the Soaring Spirits International website, just after I’d finally gone online with my story and shortly before I became one of the seven widow’s blogging here at Widow’s Voice, I found a deep solace in the smiling faces on the photos of past events at Camp Widow. Here was a group of people dedicated to a beautiful community of…