Where is…?Who put that there…?When…?Why is……the bottle of brown sauce in the crockery cupboard?Did I put it there… or did John? I don’t remember doing that… but I don’t remember seeing John in the kitchen while I was cooking dinner, either. It must have been me that put the sauce in there, but have no recollection what so ever…
Widowed Parenting
The Holidays are Over
Australian children have just come back from their 6-week summer holidays. So have their teachers…. The first year after Greg died, I dreaded the Christmas holidays. All those long weeks of just me and the kids. NO trips away (every holiday doubles in price during the holidays as we all know). No will to do more than walk the tracks to the…
Year Three Fear
I’m heading into the run of second anniversaries that begin in February and run for about 4 months – his surgery; the complications hitting and the roller-coaster of his illness; him dying. Something I’m acutely aware of. In my journey, the big anniversary for me is the March “complications hitting” anniversary. That’s the day from which…
Missing out
Last week one of the parents of a child I teach had a bit of a tantrum after school one day*. It seems her daughter missed out on having an iceblock with the rest of the class because she had been away the previous day. In her seething mother-rage, she shouted at me “It’s not FAIR that Cathy misses out on an iceblock. The rest of the class had…
I’m A Professional…
…… Griever. No kidding. It seems that I can reach into someone’s deep, dark and cold grief and speak to them. I can tell them what I see in that blackness, which is really telling them what I see. Or more precisely, what I saw. I know that I’m not the only one who can do this. I’ve seen, and read, many of you doing it for others, too.
Same old grief.
I’ve been thinking about what to blog about for two days now. And I haven’t been able to come with anything. At least, not anything new. The ironic thing is, grief has been so heavy for me this week. Yesterday morning in the middle of a random conversation with my two year old about daddy, I burst into tears, which turned in to full-out sobbing by…
A legacy of kindness….
I recently read a book (and then watched the movie) called “Cloud Atlas” by David Mitchell. I count it as one of my top ten reads of all time. It’s not an easy read, either in content (lots of death and savagery), nor in lightness (its complex, you can’t afford not to be 100% focused on the story or you will miss something important).But this…
Father’s Day
Last Sunday was Father’s Day. A day that I try to put on a happy, life-can-still-be-good smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. A day that I try to acknowledge with the children in a way that is not morbid. A day that always makes me feel sad. Not long after I woke, I heard sobs coming from my son’s room. This is the child who was 5 when his…
Untouchable
The other day, my 2 1/2 year old found one of Jeremy’s mementos – an autographed baseball still in the box. I had it in one of the boys top drawers to keep so that they might have it one day when they get older. Naturally, he wanted to play with it. He took it out of the cardboard box, unwrapped the tissue paper around it, and started throwing…
When One Door Closes ……
…… it sometimes slams right in your face. Some doors are like that. They suddenly slam shut with so much force that you’re knocked backwards. The door on my “before” life shut like that. Suddenly. Surprisingly. Furiously. Permanently. Other doors close very slowly. You can tell that they’re closing, but it’s such a slow process that you…
Why This is YOUR Fault
Like many of you, last week I read a facebook post by the fabulous Michele in which she confessed to being irritate with her dead husband (not her lovely, living one….) Went for a run this morning, and my legs were feeling heavy and slow. Phil is never far from my mind when I run (especially in August), and as I struggled with the miles I…
Home Sweet Home
Well, things around here never seem to quite slow down. And lately, in particular, they’ve sped up into super speed! Steve accepted a new job position in Parkersburg, West Virginia. Oh, and we move next week! We are taking a ride on the crazy train and loving every minute of it. Well….almost every minute.While I am thrilled for this new…