I’ve written before about how my personal routines went out the window after Ian died.
John was only 13 months when Ian got sick, and 16 months when he died. Getting him into a bedtime routine, let alone to going down at a regular time just never got re-established after the initial “everything gone haywire” period. We both developed bad habits, which now need to be broken.
I’ve tried a few times to get something resembling a bedtime routine established. The issue I have is with consistency.
Those bad days, when you’re just exhausted from life AND grief, when there’s no one to back you up and tag team with, when you can’t keep your own eyes open long enough for 1 round of The Gruffalo, let alone 4 or 5, it’s so easy to just revert to bad habits (like letting him fall asleep in front of the TV in my bed).
The bad days for me just happen too frequently still for any sort of consistency with anything I try and establish. I get a day or two, but then… blerk.
But I need to get something in place.
For both of us.
John’s closing in on three and a half. It is well and truly beyond time, and he needs proper sleep for his growth and development.
With potential changes to social security payments looming here in Australia, I need my evenings free of ‘entertaining small person’ to get a cleaning/studying habit set in preparation for potentially needing to re-join the workforce earlier than I feel I am ready for.
So I am picking my battles. No fighting the falling asleep in my bed at this stage, but getting a TV off, teeth, toilet, bed sequence starting at a set time will be achieved.