I miss the little things. The things not many people talk about in loss. I don’t just miss my person on holidays, anniversaries, or milestones, but all those in between days. All the in-between minutes and seconds and moments. Something as simple as how he used to hug me from behind as I made dinner. […]
Widowed Parenting
The Mosson Love Story
A repost! As my birthday approaches next week so does the day that I met Erik. I met him the day after my 21st birthday. I always told him getting to meet him was my late, but amazing life-changing birthday gift. Although, I did think my birthday was on the 28th of August for 13 […]
Stress and Self Doubt
After I logged off work tonight, I felt that bubble rising. The one that fills me with self-doubt. My brain filling with intrusive thoughts because I am stretched thin. I don’t feel good at anything. The source of my stress right now is work. I’ve been given more responsibility, while also working to improve processes. […]
Managing the Storm
Ever since Erik’s passing I’ve had a hard time finding something just for myself. Something that would take my mind off grieving just for a little bit, but also something I could look forward to that wasn’t just obligations of daily life. Around the 6 month mark, people started telling me, “You need to start […]
The Duality of Living
It is hard work, but it’s so important to find duality in our widowed lives. Sadness and Happiness. Grief and Joy. Heartache and Love. Sorrow and Wonder. I remember getting a piece of advice right after Tony died that came via another widow. That advice was to cry when you need to but don’t let […]
A Heavy Heart
As I looked at the date today I couldn’t believe that it was only the second Tuesday of 2024. We are barely one week into this new year and it seems as if so much has happened. Within the past two days, I have had two friends pass back to back. Then to hear from […]
Another Year
Whew. And just like that the season is wrapped up. Finally. Since the ‘ber months started all I could think to myself was, just get me to January 2nd. As hard as it is every day to live with grief it’s worst during the holiday season. Mostly when our wedding anniversary falls two days before […]
‘Tis the Tangled Lights
And there goes the second December without Erik. This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. December is always such a hard time. The holiday season starts with our wedding anniversary on the eve of Christmas Eve. This second year of celebrating the holidays without Erik hit me harder than I had expected. It […]
Christmas Past
There are certain days of the year we use to mark the passage of time. After losing someone that time either falls into the before or after loss category. I don’t know if it was always that way for me, but Christmas is now one of those days. Today marks our third Christmas without Tony. […]
Last Parent Standing
A repost! I am not a single parent. I am a solo parent. It was only a few months after Erik’s passing that I was out of town. Everything during this time was still painful. Waking up, breathing, pretending to smile, existing – it was all so painful. I was on my way to the […]
Overindulgence
If I’m going to write my truth in full here, sometimes that means sharing the uglier side. Many of us have vices. They are not all healthy. I don’t want to condone it or judge it here, only share. Occasionally, I find myself in a situation where I have overindulged in alcohol. Where one drink […]
Blue Christmas
This past week we did a few holiday activities. It seems I have been trying to fill my time as much as I can in the hopes that I don’t stop long enough to deeply feel what I’m feeling. I know this is probably not healthy, but the holiday season this year has been a […]