Reunions of any kind can stir up all kinds of thoughts and feelings – happiness, nostalgia, a desire to connect, and inevitably sadness due to the fact that reunions can remind us of those who are no longer here with us. My parents met in New Jersey – my mom a coal miner’s daughter […]
Widowed Memories
Summer Memories
Can’t believe it’s already August as another year seems to be flying by here. August is the county fair month here and it always reminds me how much Mario loved sketchy carnival rides. He kind of had the same approach to those as regular amusement park rides, flying on airplanes, or anything else where the […]
Never Alone
I remember my first Camp Widow like it was yesterday. It was around 8 months after Erik had passed. I was sitting on the same couch that I couldn’t seem to move from and had this overwhelming feeling that I was all alone. There wasn’t anyone in my circle that was a widow and at […]
2800 A Day
On July 20th, I walked out of Michele Neff Hernandez’s keynote address at Camp Widow in San Diego to a text message indicating bad news back home. Thankfully, the text indicated my kids were okay. As I rode the escalator to a quieter part of the hotel my mind raced through scenarios of what the […]
Life-Changing Paths
Each time Friday rolls around I’m stunned. The other day I posted that it was Thursday until someone reminded me that it was actually Wednesday! I guess that’s a good thing – to be so absorbed in daily life activities that one is no longer fixated on days, nights, hours, minutes. That’s a gift, I […]
Revisiting My Past
The sun on the water is sparkling. The sky is pure blue, cloudless. It was in the mid-eighties when we departed shore. A light breeze is coming from the south. Robyn has wisely brought along a sweater today, ready for the changing weather conditions one encounters on the water. However, no sweater is needed for […]
The Gift of Camp Widow
in San Diego once again! The first Camp Widow showed up as “The First Annual National Conference on Widowhood.” Take a moment and consider that we’re celebrating the 16th year of Camp Widow this coming weekend. Many more than sixteen camps have endured. Add to that Canada and Australia—Wow! All major accomplishments that started […]
Insignificant, Yet Significant
There are just some things that I can’t seem to part with. For the past three weeks, I have been trying to get rid of a set of bath towels that the twins have been using. It has definitely seen some better days. For some reason, I just can’t seem to say goodbye to something […]
Summertime
and it is HOT in Riverside, California! Awakening to climbing temperatures that announce at 6:00 am another hot day on the way. I rise to turn on the fans. Oddly the first thought is about the heat and not about my widowed status. You see, there are many […]
July Blues
Just like clockwork, another July rolls around. As each year passes, the important dates seem to hold more value as we get further from when Erik was here. July holds so much significance for us. July 2nd of the year Erik passed was supposed to be our “Christmas in July” vow renewal. These important dates […]
Fireworks
This is the fourth, 4th of July we’ve celebrated without Tony. It doesn’t feel as devastating as it did the first few years. While it doesn’t hurt like it did in the beginning, I still find myself thinking about him throughout the holiday. On the 4th, our youngest was recovering from a cold so we […]
Hellos and Good-byes
Because summer has always been my favorite season, and I strongly dislike cold climates, the Fourth of July had always been one of my favorite holidays growing up in the North. For me, this holiday was sort of like a summertime version of New Year’s Eve with its fireworks, gatherings and celebration of all forms […]