I remember during our rave DJ days, Mario and I got booked to play at The Alexandria Hotel in downtown Los Angeles. I had never been there before and I wasn’t aware of the place’s reputation, but I could tell just standing outside, it had a creepy vibe. Our set was at midnight and it […]
Widowed Memories
Marking Memories
The days are hot here in Riverside, CA and I am late to this page. Summer has a schedule of its own, school or not. It invites a slowness that I can tumble into; falling into it like falling into clouds. It’s hot and the a/c is my friend. Behind me, my dog and grand-dog […]
Car Trouble
When I purchased my new car recently, I intended to keep my old one for the kids. The old car was having some transmission issues, but I was going to have them repaired. My car had only one previous owner before myself. It seemed like a good idea to keep the vehicle in which I […]
Healing Waters
Welcome Summer and the first Saturday of the season! I grew up a pool rat. My father managed a number of town pools and swim clubs in Northern New Jersey from the early1960s through the late 70s during the months when he wasn’t teaching and coaching. His summer job. My family loved pool season when […]
Following Father’s Day
Here you are on display so many years after the fact. Having been only four tiny pounds yourself, you grew larger than life. You had the strength to be immutable and the grace to be tender. Tough and Tender. A combination for life. Seeing this photo undoes me. Missing […]
That Twin Inevitable Heartbreak
As a widow, we hear plenty of platitudes. One of them being ‘time will heal all’. It’s one that I truly dislike and still makes me cringe mostly because I don’t believe it’s true. I don’t believe that time will heal becoming a widow. I don’t think anything will be able to heal that. I […]
A Family Vacation
Last week I was on vacation with my children and my late husband’s family. My in-laws organized the trip as an early celebration for their 50th wedding anniversary. We spent 6 days in the Outer Banks with Tony’s parents and his sister’s family. The cousins had fun together bouncing between the beach and the pool […]
Floating On
On Thursday, my family and I paid a loving tribute to my mother when her ashes were interred with my father’s at Saratoga National Cemetery in New York. One year earlier to the day, my father’s Military Service took place at the same location on a day that was just as beautiful and warm. My […]
Back to Nature
There has always been a big nature element in my life. Where I grew was not too far from San Diego, but in the 70,s it might as well have been the Outback because the average San Diegan considered it very rural. My parents hailed from Western PA, outside of Pittsburgh in small towns. My […]
Stuff, Stuff and More Stuff
When Erik passed the twins and I packed our entire house into a storage unit and moved. We only took with us what fit into the already full trucks of our two cars; one carry-on luggage that was stuffed for me by my cousin with random clothes and a few hampers filled with the twins’ […]
Nowadays, I Feel Ambivalent About the Beautiful Month of June
According to one poll of adult Americans (https://today..ougov.com/society/articles/45312-americans-favorite-and-least-favorite-months-year), thirty-nine percent love the month of June and an additional forty-one percent like June. Nine percent of American adults dislike June, only three percent hate it. I do not know how the results should be interpreted, except it further demonstrates that Americans cannot agree about anything nowadays. […]
My LA Ambush
A group of widows is called an Ambush. I learned that at one of the three Camp Widow events I’ve attended. Greater than that fun fact, are the friendships I’ve built from those Camps. My home base Camp Widow has been San Diego. My first year in attendance, I almost instantly connected with three other […]