It’s been a week of oddball dreams in which my departed other half has shown up frequently. These particular types of dreams are powered by my subconscious mind, not by supernatural forces. From the surrealistic to the mundane, they take me on a well-trodden path. It’s almost as if my subconscious is experiencing its own […]
Widowed Emotions
Steps Toward Healing
Step-by-Step we grow through grief Merriam-Webster defines “step” as STEP n. 1 – an action planned or taken to achieve a desired result 2 – an individual part of a process… STEP-BY-STEP adj. 1 – proceeding or changing by steps or degrees On April 9, 2023 (6 days prior to the […]
I Died Too
A repost worth sharing! And another grief bomb hits. Earlier this week I went on my business as I normally do. The day-to-day activities that used to feel so impossible after Erik’s passing have now just become numbingly routine. But there I was standing in the middle of a grocery store with tears down my […]
Playing Catch and Grief Release
Every parent has their own strengths and weaknesses they bring to the co-parenting table. I can help whip up a book report, swim the fly, and memorize lines for the school play. Those are my core strengths. Tony was the master of math, even common core and fractions, and all hand eye coordination sports. Most […]
A morbid sense of humor.
This post isn’t for everyone. So trigger warning if morbid humor is not something you want to read. This post is for those who know in their heart of hearts that we all die. Memento mori and all that. Life comes to an end and sometimes the only thing you can do is smile at […]
An Uneasy Feeling
Today was a “spa” day, that special day that only comes around three or four times each year when I go for a fancy haircut and treat myself to a soothing pedicure. Spa days are all about comfort and relaxation. As I walked home on this lovely morning, however, strangely I was agitated and felt […]
Pause
There are times when words fail when life demands pause. There are times when Life fails Humans fail Goodness fails; leaves us frozen in disbelief grasping for some yesterday that is not now. There are times of human failure when […]
When Strangers Become Family
Early last week a widow friend texted our widow group chat that was started after Camp Widow San Diego. She had shared with us that she needed to go to the hospital for her daughter. I was driving as I read this text and immediately my heart dropped for her. It took me right back […]
Halloween Decorations
The seasons are changing here in the Midwest and everywhere you look is a plethora of pumpkin spice and Halloween. Houses are decorated with giant spiders, pumpkins, ghosts, skeletons, and tombstones. In my before, I never gave any of this a second thought. Now I find it a little odd people are out there setting […]
Places in Time
Last week, I took a couple days off mid-week and traveled up to a hot springs retreat. The last time I was there was 2019 and I went with Mario. We wanted to go again early 2020, but then the pandemic hit. They managed to weather that storm and re-opened in late summer. We booked […]
An Invitation: Be Water
Be water. Flowing, flexible and soft. a still pond invites insect landings; water responds with ripples (My responses to life can be gentle or fierce) Subtly powerful power lurks—ALIVE—just beneath the surface (Am I in tune with the power within me?) still waters contrast with powerful flash floods wreaking destruction […]
Family Photos Minus One
Last week the kids and I went to Fort Walton Beach for a week of fun and sun. This vacation was one I planned with two other families that we are friends with. In total, we had 5 adults and 10 children. Each family rented their own condo at the complex and we managed to […]