Victim of Identity Theft š¤ Not the kind where creeps take your Social Security number, name and address and try to impersonate you with American Express š³. But the kind that happens after your person dies. The kind that strips you of everything that made you, you. I have a feeling you know where Iām […]
Widowed and Healing
Still Some Cocooning
It was a busy week (for me) but I survived it. Cocooning still feels more comfortable and safe, but I know itās important to get back out there socially so Iām trying. Thursday I enjoyed catching up with my old co-workers after so long Ā ā¦ I should say āformerā not āoldā since I do believe […]
Hobby Exploration
Over the last five years, Iāve asked myself a few times what do you want to do with your time? Are there new hobbies you want to try? Old ones to pick up? How will you fill all the time you expected to spend with your partner now that he is gone? What will bring […]
This Is Me
I have a tonnn of songs in my āGrief Songsā Playlist – a carefully curated list of songs accumulated over the past 11 years of songs that are about grief, help me have āa good cryā (I am now at a place in my journey that I can schedule these āgood cryāsā at a āconvenient” […]
JOKE IS ON YOU! š¤£
APRIL FOOL’S DAY Laughter is medicine for the soul, they say. Humor is the āglueā that holds a relationship together, they say. But DARK humor? It can become a survival tool too, baby!Ā I say. I am willing to bet my tax refund šµ to say that one doesnāt truly know dark humor until you lose […]
A Party to Plan
This week we turn the calendar to April. Once again, I will find myself in the month that Tony passed. What feels crazy to me is that this year will be the 5th anniversary of his death. Five years is bananas. Itās hard to believe that much time has passed. A month or so ago, […]
The Loss of Future Memories
One of the things that makes our people āour people,ā is the million things we know about them that few / no one knew, and – as importantly, the million things they knew about us that no one else knew. We were also āeach otherās peopleā because of the special 1:1 memories we had, the […]
Scrambled Thoughts š³ with a Side of Trauma.
āļø It has been 842 days, 13 hours, and 41 minutes. Roughly 2 years, 3 months, and 22 days. But the trauma, the slow agonizing torture, started for me more than five years ago with his terminal brain cancer diagnosis. It blindsided us. If your person was ill for a while, you know what I […]
Start with YES
Iām now at Day 10 of this respiratory thing going around, so Iāve been isolating ā¦ which should have made it easier for me to accomplish all of the things on my list ā¦ but my energy level is at the negative level and I canāt manage more than an hour before I need to […]
Iāve Gone Dark.
This week I am in it. š In a funk. The kind you canāt pinpoint to one single thing, just a mix of little and big things that make life feel so heavy and unfair all over again. It feels like a grief hangover. The kind that wants to keep you in bed for days […]
We Went to Church
A few weeks ago, I took the boys to Church. And by Church, I mean Eric Church. This was Tonyās favorite singer and every song he released; Tony seemed to identify with more than the last. I donāt think there was a song he didnāt like. Right after Tony passed, tickets for one of his […]
“When Are You Going To Start Living Again?”
My widow group WhatāsApp chat was a flurry this weekend over one very brief – but very impactful – interaction one of us (not me) had at a party. She was chatting with someone she had not seen since before her partner had passed. Rather quickly, the āfriendā said, āWhen are you going to start […]