It’s time for me to prep for Camp Widow in San Diego this week. There are lots of tasks to get myself ready to be away from home for almost 5 days. Packing myself, scheduling the kids with grandparents, lining out their schedules, the list goes on. Last week, I received a survey from Soaring […]
Widowed and Healing
Summertime
and it is HOT in Riverside, California! Awakening to climbing temperatures that announce at 6:00 am another hot day on the way. I rise to turn on the fans. Oddly the first thought is about the heat and not about my widowed status. You see, there are many […]
Fireworks
This is the fourth, 4th of July we’ve celebrated without Tony. It doesn’t feel as devastating as it did the first few years. While it doesn’t hurt like it did in the beginning, I still find myself thinking about him throughout the holiday. On the 4th, our youngest was recovering from a cold so we […]
Hellos and Good-byes
Because summer has always been my favorite season, and I strongly dislike cold climates, the Fourth of July had always been one of my favorite holidays growing up in the North. For me, this holiday was sort of like a summertime version of New Year’s Eve with its fireworks, gatherings and celebration of all forms […]
It’s Time
Another death anniversary passed in April and here we are already in July. It’s time to honor our fifty-fith wedding anniversary coming up tomorrow. It is the privilege of a lifetime is to live, tell, and record the stories of our lives, Dan Neff. It is love on love on more love. […]
Peaceful
Outside of Father’s Day a few weeks ago, I have been feeling relatively at peace. There are likely a few reasons for that feeling. The madness of the last school year is in the rearview mirror. Kid sports have winded down for a few weeks. Those two things have allowed me to take a deep […]
Recalling Birthdays Past
This weekend marks the birthday of my sister who would haved turned 64 tomorrow. Growing up, I envied her summer birthday celebrations. I got blizzards and weather-related postponed parties and she got beaches and pool parties. We were very different, yet very close. I still can’t believe she is seven years gone. I know she […]
Marking Memories
The days are hot here in Riverside, CA and I am late to this page. Summer has a schedule of its own, school or not. It invites a slowness that I can tumble into; falling into it like falling into clouds. It’s hot and the a/c is my friend. Behind me, my dog and grand-dog […]
Car Trouble
When I purchased my new car recently, I intended to keep my old one for the kids. The old car was having some transmission issues, but I was going to have them repaired. My car had only one previous owner before myself. It seemed like a good idea to keep the vehicle in which I […]
Healing Waters
Welcome Summer and the first Saturday of the season! I grew up a pool rat. My father managed a number of town pools and swim clubs in Northern New Jersey from the early1960s through the late 70s during the months when he wasn’t teaching and coaching. His summer job. My family loved pool season when […]
Following Father’s Day
Here you are on display so many years after the fact. Having been only four tiny pounds yourself, you grew larger than life. You had the strength to be immutable and the grace to be tender. Tough and Tender. A combination for life. Seeing this photo undoes me. Missing […]
That Twin Inevitable Heartbreak
As a widow, we hear plenty of platitudes. One of them being ‘time will heal all’. It’s one that I truly dislike and still makes me cringe mostly because I don’t believe it’s true. I don’t believe that time will heal becoming a widow. I don’t think anything will be able to heal that. I […]












