Ever since Erik’s passing I’ve had a hard time finding something just for myself. Something that would take my mind off grieving just for a little bit, but also something I could look forward to that wasn’t just obligations of daily life. Around the 6 month mark, people started telling me, “You need to start […]
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The Duality of Living
It is hard work, but it’s so important to find duality in our widowed lives. Sadness and Happiness. Grief and Joy. Heartache and Love. Sorrow and Wonder. I remember getting a piece of advice right after Tony died that came via another widow. That advice was to cry when you need to but don’t let […]
Just Peace, Please
Who else has been on this path – this grief tsunami – for a whole bunch of years now, like me? Who else has been living in the AFTERMATH of loss for some time, and has felt a significant change in what things are important to them, now, today, in this life? Who else has […]
On the Road Redux
Lola the pup and I are en route to our winter quarters. It was frigid the morning we left home. Fortunately, the cold that followed us seems to be dissipating here in Oklahoma City. I apologize that I don’t have a fresh piece for this week. However, I assure you that the one I published […]
One Thousand Days
Today marks 1,000 days since Tony died. 999 days I’ve woken up as a widow. I have a countdown app on my phone. The kind most people use to enter fun things, like upcoming vacations or special events. I do use it for those things, but awhile back I also discovered that it would count […]
Tripping Around the Sun
I’m posting this on what I call Birth Eve, the day before my birthday. It’s been a busy time on many fronts leading up to the “Big Day”. Last week I saw my first snow while visiting family in Upstate New York. I think it had been five years since I’d last experienced that cold […]
Planning My Winter Escape
They shut off our Zoom link before Zoey and I had completed reading aloud and discussing tonight’s assigned story, “Pumpkinhead.” However, I was satisfied with her effort and pleased to hear her accurately summarize the story’s message. Zoey was smiling. “This is the best story we’ve studied,” she told me. While glad to hear she […]
A Heavy Heart
As I looked at the date today I couldn’t believe that it was only the second Tuesday of 2024. We are barely one week into this new year and it seems as if so much has happened. Within the past two days, I have had two friends pass back to back. Then to hear from […]
Midnight Kisses
Last week the kids and I were on our annual holiday vacation. Since Tony’s death, I have taken the kids to Disney World, Beaches Jamaica, and now Xcaret Mexico over the holiday break. There are a variety of reasons vacationing this time of year works for us. The kids are out of school, I am […]
Fearing Change, Changing Fears
I have always been someone who fears change. I think a lot of people do. I also think it takes a long time to really understand that if nothing ever changed, that means that everything would stay the same forever. And if you really understand that, you would not want that, because nothing ever changing […]
Random Thoughts During Week One of 2024
I’ve always enjoyed this time of year. The world seems to exhale and breathe new life in to the fresh days of a new year after an intense holiday season. I’ve always felt this way, but that feeling has been much stronger dealing with loss. It takes a great deal of focus and energy to […]
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
Mario and I chose cats over kids. I know full well that furry family members are not the same as kids but when you don’t have kids, you absolutely care about them in the same kind of ways. Without human children in your life, you really focus on the fact that your pets may only […]