Grief changes when life changes; and when life changes, grief changes. But maybe the biggest thing that constantly changes and evolves is US. If we want to. If we choose to. If we allow the grief to be that annoying friend that you just can’t seem to shake, instead of treating her as the enemy. As we […]
Uncategorized
Olde Florida, New Traditions
I awoke this Saturday Morning realizing I hadn’t prepared a post for today. The onset of the Holiday Season, my Mom’s health issues in New York State that took me away for days and of course the moving process of the past few weeks has taken much of my time and energy. Last week I […]
Thanksgiving Then and Now
As in most families, our Thanksgiving traditions had their own rhythms. We’d gather at mom and dads’ place around mid-afternoon. You could count on my sister to arrive on time except when she arrived early. I, on the other hand, at least while I remained unmarried, could be counted upon to shuffle by later. First […]
Colder Weather
With my second Thanksgiving without Erik right around the corner, I find myself getting multiple flashbacks of all our past Thanksgivings. Thanksgiving was the first time I introduced Erik to my family a decade ago. The thought of another year with an empty seat with his name on it sets in more this second time […]
Coffee
Today we threw out my Keurig coffee maker. It stopped working and functioning correctly, so I drove it to the town dump this morning, along with this weeks other trash items; never to be seen again. My parents bought me that Keurig somewhere around 2013 or 2014. I cannot recall the exact year, because it […]
One Thousand Five Hundred Twenty-Seven
It’s a recurring theme for me: something occurs that roils my emotional waters, instantly flooding me with dark memories of grief-filled days when the icy reality of Lee’s death occupied my every waking moment. Such emotional waves are not connected to a specific date, place, or occasion, but rather surface unexpectedly, and can be triggered […]
When They Call You Mrs
I don’t find myself in many situations where there is an opportunity for me to be addressed formerly. 99.9% of the time I answer to Emily and Mom. Thankfully, my boys haven’t started calling me Bruh…yet. Last week I was volunteering at the elementary school for the bookfair. The kids get to shop or browse […]
Missing Toronto and Living Life
There was a time when I didn’t just GO to each Camp Widow event that happened every year, I NEEDED to go to every single Camp Widow event that happened each year. Like, it was a necessity for my mental health , for my sanity, for my well-being, and for my being able to have […]
Settling In
It was a busy week and last night I realized that I had no draft for today’s Post, a first in my year plus of Saturdays when I’d just push the Publish button. So today follows the theme of new starts, habits and outlooks in true form. I will randomly write on. On Thursday, I […]
Green Pastures
It had rained non-stop from Illinois and Indiana through Ohio and Kentucky, into parts of Tennessee, crisscrossing the Great Smokey Mountains. A challenging stretch of road for two flatlanders but we managed a steady clip. We were in North Carolina before we caught the first glimpse of blue sky and sunshine. Suddenly, on one side […]
Fleeting Sense of Safety
Ever since Erik’s passing my sense of home and safety has been fleeting. Every second of every day my mind is constantly filled with never-ending thoughts of things that need to get done, questions about the future, re-plays of the past, worry about the what-ifs, and everything in between. One of my biggest thoughts is […]
The Endless Loop
Hello Friends. Happy Sunday. Or peaceful Sunday. Or maybe just “Sunday”, if that’s all you can handle from where you are at in your healing process. I absolutely get it. So, yesterday was a rare day where I didnt have any grief counseling sessions booked, didnt have to facilitate any groups, and didn’t have to […]