One of the most difficult parts of the mourning process many widowed people experience is the loss of future occasions including holidays and anniversaries. We find ourselves listening to long-time married friends, family members and colleagues as they speak glowingly of their trips and celebrations of decades spent in togetherness. While we are truly happy […]
Multiple Losses
“Relativiser”
Image on Unsplash by Dan DeAlmeida A long, long time ago, I had a lovely colleague, (let’s call her Jeanne), who had a similar role to me, except she was head of a different office in our consulting firm. She was a bit older than me, and had had all of her three kids before […]
For once, the tears weren’t (only) mine
Main Image by Zac Ong on Unsplash Last Sunday I completed a 20 km running event. My first event of that distance (or so) in three years. I wrote about the run’s run-up last week. I have so often been on the verge of tears at various points in long runs – whether they are […]
Keeping Active Hope Alive for COP27
Tomorrow I am participating in the Geneva 20 km run. The last time I participated in a distance like this – approximating a semi-marathon – was 2019. The year Julia died. I remember that event so clearly. It astounds me that it was already three years ago. And yes, COVID happened. The Lausanne semi-marathon is […]
Cumulative Grief
When you’ve experienced multiple losses within a short period of time, you may begin to wonder how much more loss you can endure. This is known as Cumulative Grief, when one experiences multiple losses either all at once, or before processing an earlier loss. In coping with the one year anniversary of my husband’s […]
Old Habits Meshing With New Ones – aka – From Sergy to Scheveningen Overland
All photos my own I am on a Thalys train, sat at Rotterdam Centraal, awaiting the departure to Paris. I have had a very short, end-of-week (as opposed to weekend/week-end), break to see Megan who is studying in The Hague. I am on my way home, and door-to-door, it should take me 11 hours if […]
When not to mention the death of a child…
Image by Vlada of Oświęcim on Unsplash I went to see an extraordinary film last night – “Simone, Le Voyage Du Siècle” (in English, it’s been translated as, “Simone, A Woman of the Century”. The Simone in question is Simone Veil, French (and European) political, women (and human) rights activist, and Holocaust survivor. A woman […]
Witnessing Deep, Rich Love, Sorrow and Pain in Others
Image by Whoislimos on Unsplash I spent some deeply touching moments, minutes, hours yesterday evening, during my shift at the hospice. We have a beautiful new resident. She is a true beauty. Glorious skin and hair. Luminous eyes. Not so many people who are nearing their final days are graced with such luxuriant beauty. She […]
The Comfort – and Wisdom – of Denial
Main image by Quliyeva Efsane on Unsplash I have been reflecting on Denial. I realise that I have come to value, appreciate, love and respect Denial. Not as a blanket approach to life, but as a bit of a cosy corner to hide away in from time to time. Or even longer periods of […]
Alone
Image by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash I love David Whyte’s Poetry and Writings. I love David Whyte’s voice and the way he reads his Work. I love how he turns words over, how he massages formerly unnoticed meanings out of them. How he carves then places jewels in everyday words, so that you cannot help […]
Rougher and Smoother Grief Grooves
Main image by Leslie Cross on Unsplash. Other pictures my own. Last weekend, Medjool and I went to the Valais to enjoy a late summer weekend of mountain walking. The hotel and two nights’ accommodation had been generously booked and paid for by him months – possibly even a year – ago. Innocently and caringly […]
The Unconclusive Conclusion
While writing this blog, I was forced to revisit and relive more than just my widowed walk. I dove back in time through many memories I had forgotten or hidden. In reflecting back, how ironic was it that I rushed through the four years of high school and the four years of college only now […]