I had an experience yesterday which was wholly disagreeable in the moment, and of which similar versions have happened various times these past months and years. The difference was that I finally felt able to handle the situation calmly, directly, and with more resourcefulness than previous times. As I discussed it in the evening with […]
Multiple Losses
42 Moons
Main picture by Mark Tegethoff on Unsplash I have long had an uncanny ability to work out time zones (what time is it right now in Sydney where they are 8 hours ahead? Or in Minneapolis which is 7 hours behind? Or if I want a call with someone in New York and someone in […]
I want MIKE!
I am just back from a brave week of open water swimming in the waters of the La Maddalena Archipelago, off the north-east coast of Sardinia. Brave because it’s the end of summer – indeed early autumn (we had three days of wind & rain, and four days of decent – albeit windy sunshine) Brave […]
Milestones and Rememberances
I think it’s important to share not just the parts of my life that are affected by being widowed, but also the parts that are affected by having lost my mother as a child, and also my father in my late 20’s, because I know your children will live through milestones of their own like this.
Long Live Live Music
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash One of the phrases that I hear, and that I use myself, in my still new, post-loss world, is “this life of after”. It’s a phrase that gets used a lot in the COVID context too. “After COVID…” or “When COVID is over…” And of course, some people are […]
From “What’s wrong?” to “What’s possible?”
Image by Leonardo Santamaria for NPR Confession: I have no idea where this piece of writing will go. Another confession: That happens quite often with these blogposts, though for sure much of my writing comes from a specific incident that has stood out during my week. Other times I latch onto a song, a poem, […]
Sliced and Diced and Cored
Main Photo by Nikolai Chernichenko on Unsplash I have written quite a bit about my challenging relationship with Death Admin. That I despise it. That it’s painful. That it takes too much time and energy and money. That it is prone to make me cry bitter, angry and hurting tears. And that most of all, […]
Future Gifts
People will often ask how I’m able to keep going after such difficulties losing my father and than my partner within 10 months of each other. Well here is the secret… I just keep trying. Yup that’s it. I keep trying. That is the magical answer I have for you. Some days are fantastic and […]
Life, After
Images from internet searches for Netflix’s “After Life” Sometime after Mike died – perhaps a matter of months – Megan came to me and said, “Muuuuum – my Netflix account isn’t working”. It’s possible that I said, “What’s Netflix?”, but I don’t think I was living under a rock to quite that degree. But I […]
Do You Know or Do You Believe?
We fall into our patterns and the longer we are in them the tighter they stick. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Peppered into our day are all sorts of habits. It’s the repetition that provides us comfort. We say good night and close our eyes until the next day when the sun returns. The […]
Dying to Live or Living to Die?
Photo by Juliana Malta on Unsplash This is my 53rd piece for Soaring Spirits which means I have been writing for a year. My gentlest year in five years. I wanted so much to be able to write that there had not been another death in my close entourage, by which I mean, the death […]
New Goodbyes
It’s never easy to say goodbye… whether 5 months, 5 years, or 15 years. All I can look forward to is knowing that soon she’ll be able to peacefully rest finally, without confusion, or fear. Just peace.