Photo by Andrew Buchanan on Unsplash “One of the big things I talk about in the grief world is how other people want to rush grief. They want the old you back, they want things to go back to “normal,” they’ve grown impatient with the way grief lives in you. All that cheerleading and cheering up has, at […]
Multiple Losses
Empty
Photo by our own amazing Sarah Treanor (streanor.com) Empty. I am empty. I feel empty. Which one is it? Just empty. Running on Empty? No. Not even. A year ago I did a semi-marathon and it was at the end of one of the hardest weeks in my life (and I have had a shit […]
Lost Belonging
When I was in high school, I had one guy friend named Matt. He was the only guy that gave this outgoing, unconventional kid a chance. The feeling of belonging holds tight space in my heart. I was supposed to have lunch one day with Matt but he didn’t come to school. At the last […]
New Love in the Time of COVID-19
How does a new relationship, even one that truly feels right, profound, rich, loving… how does it survive, how can it survive, in the time of COVID-19? How can Zoom sessions, WhatsApp calls and texts, photos, and even the occasional letter, be a substitute for lovingness, comfort and support? Any relationship needs nurturing, whether it […]
Survivor Superpowers
If there is one thing hardship can help us develop in ourselves, it is a resolve that no matter what life throws at us, we will not back down or be broken. We can decide that we will not stop believing that life can be beautiful, and funny, and wonderful, and full of love. We can decide not to give in to the idea that I grew up with – that “normal” is best or better somehow. Instead, we who have been through the hard shit can embrace the fact that life has thrown it’s hardest stuff at us, and not only did we make it through, but by God, we made something beautiful of it too.
Multiple Versions of Mother’s Day
Today, as I write, Sunday 10th May 2020, it is Mother’s Day in North America. And, closer to home, in Switzerland too. The day during which, in former times, people congratulate mothers on being mothers. People bring their mums flowers, make them a meal, take them out for a meal. Or just call them and […]
Bittersweet
Photo by Bannon Morrissy on Unsplash 24 April 2020 More stories of dates. And Dates. Sometimes I count a year as 52 weeks. Sometimes I count a year as 365 days. Or 366 days as the case may be. Sometimes I remember the day something happened. Sometimes the date is more important. And sometimes the Date. It’s […]
Messages from Mike
There seems to come a time in life for those of us who do not grow up with formal religion – and perhaps it’s triggered by loss and hardship, perhaps by age – where we search for meaning in losses and in life, and messages or clues that there might be something before and after […]
Taxing Memories
Primary photo by Carli Jeen on Unsplash Since becoming an independent consultant in 2012, my least-favourite task – that of preparing my income and expenses for my tax return – has been consistent. For some reason, I fail to compile my expenses and invoices on a monthly basis, despite my diary having a “reminder”. Presumably something more exciting is […]
Hard-Won Resilience
One of my professional colleagues confessed, a few weeks ago, that “It feels awful to say this, but my, isn’t the Coronavirus beautiful?” I admit I did a double take. She added, “Not what the Coronavirus is causing, engendering, but the virus itself. The images we get of it are just beautiful. Stunning”. Yes – […]
Please Pass the Salt
When I was younger I rarely said no to food. I liked almost everything except baked macaroni and cheese with stewed tomatoes. Absolutely hated it but it was my Dad’s favorite. “Do I have to eat this?” I said. “I’ll eat anything else.” “You’ll eat what’s put in front of you.” said my Dad. He […]
The Courage Required to Look Grief in the Face
Photo by our very own Sarah Treanor (streanor.com) I have just come back from a fascinating two-day workshop on Transformative Facilitation. It’s about enabling, engendering, indeed even provoking moments of deep insight and reflection that can lead to fundamental change in how a person sees themselves and the world around them, leading to different, more […]