Photos my own these past days So Christmas and New Year have been okay. Better than okay. Moments that were really hard, of course; but more moments that have been really enjoyable. Ben and Megan came back from the Netherlands where they study, and stayed largely at home while they were here. Medjool went back […]
Multiple Losses
Today I have lived 20,000 days
Picture by Debby Hudson on Unsplash I know, notice, or choose to find out, the weirdest things about dates and days. I love number patterns. I love that my birthday is 270367 and Mike’s is 270763. Same digits. A numerical dream. Or so I chose to believe. Just recently, we have seen a lovely date […]
The Magic of the Season
I remember the magic of the holidays when I was younger. Time went by at a much slower pace waiting for that one special night followed by a day of jolly and cheer. Christmas Eve we would spend with my mom’s side of the family surrounded by aunts, uncle, cousins and grandparents. Each year my […]
Flowering Unapologetically
Image on Unsplash by Roksolana Zasiadko I am a subscriber to Megan Devine’s weekly and monthly writing prompts. I always read them, even if I don’t often write into them. But this week I want to write into one of the prompts she sent out recently. Even if it made more sense to me last […]
In Conversation with Madiba
Main image by Ashim d’Silva on Unsplash Some of the more woo-woo stuff I get up to is “Journey work” (The Journey®). I first came across Brandon Bays, and her book, “The Journey”, in Autumn 2009, and fell in love with it. Over the next few years, I attended about 30 days – possibly more – […]
Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful Widows
Images from the Soaring Spirits end of year card 2021 I got my first Christmas card two days ago. Not quite in November, but almost. It stunned me in myriad ways. Firstly, I am staggered I even receive Christmas cards anymore. I don’t send any. I used to, in the life before, but I don’t […]
Grief of Tsunamic Proportions
Image by David Cleverley on Unsplash I don’t know how to begin this piece. I don’t know what will be in the middle. And I don’t know how it will end. In truth, I usually don’t know the middle or end of a piece before I start writing. This will horrify any good teacher of […]
You’re Allowed Fifteen Minutes
image by Avesun on iStock About six weeks ago, on a Monday morning, I woke up crying and sobbing. I was having a beautiful and stunningly hard dream. It happens. Quite a lot. Whenever I dream of Julia. I dream of Julia much more often than I dream of Mike. Always have done. I don’t […]
Mourning and Evening Glories
Main image by Erda Estremera on Unsplash A couple of weeks ago, on 3rd November, I felt moved to celebrate a different kind of anniversary. The three-year anniversary of my widbud group, the “Mourning Glories”, comprised of Charlotte, Gordon, Michelle, Pamela and me. We met in early November 2018 in Toronto at “Camp Widow”, organised […]
A Run of Good Luck?
Main image by Dustin Humes on Unsplash I have been wanting to write something about numbers, number patterns, and time, for a while. And specifically that I couldn’t help but notice, some three or four weeks ago, that I hadn’t had another “significant loss” for a while. I feel blessed. No new, massive, significant, life-altering […]
From Pandemic to Endemic
Photo by Gabriella Clare Marino on Unsplash I read a McKinsey article this morning called “Pandemic to Endemic: How the world needs to learn to live with COVID-19”. The article is basically about, erm, learning to live with COVID-19. That COVID-19 is something that is not going to go away. That it is not time-bound […]
I can do heavy
Image by Stephan Mabbs on Unsplash Today I had a two-hour slot scheduled with a man called Simon G, who, like me, is a participant in a learning programme. We are learning to facilitate Systemic Constellations work in organisations, led by the formidable Caroline Ward. Simon and I first met at a one-day “taster” programme […]