The last little bit has been very busy for me. I have report cards due at school tomorrow and I’ve been sick (again). I’m finally getting over it but I’ve fallen behind in the things I need to do. So I’m writing this at 10:00 pm at night, just after finishing report cards, which is not like me but I haven’t had any other time. Not to…
Miscellaneous
A Friend I Never Knew
As luck would have it, today is Tuesday, my day to post my rambling here on Soaring Spirits. It is also the 6th anniversary of Drew’s crash, and the 4th trip around the sun since I began getting to know him. Through stories told by Sarah, his parents, and his friends, I’ve made a friend…a sort of widow pen-pal, in a way. It’s odd,…
These Shades of Pink
Chuck wants me to tell you he wouldn’t leave you without a road map. He wants you to be aware of the markers he’s left for you, both physical and metaphysical. Whatever you’re doing, keep on doing it. You’re on the right track. Did you know that you’re surrounded by so many angels that I can’t even count them? You’re protected. These…
Weak at the Knees
How do I bring the girl he fell in love with back to life? I miss her. I am working on rebuilding myself. And, the new version of me is different. I am changed not by choice, but by design. Not all of me survived his death. But, the core of who I am and who he loved still remains. So, here I am using the bones of my old self as…
Marry Me.
On May 25, 2016, he asked me to marry him. Then, he died before our wedding day. I have sat here re-reading those two sentences again and again and again. I just can’t seem to process the words the letters are forming. My mind can not make sense of what I am reading. My heart can not accept the words on the page. I do not know if…
Once Upon a TIME
Still, After one year, six months, and six days, Almost every thought still begins with you. I am unable to live completely in the moment, And, I struggle to be present, Because, In my mind, I am endlessly travelling to a better place in time, Again and again. I return to this place, Where you existed once upon a time. ~Staci Sulin~ Time. …
Meeting in Dreams
This past week, I had a pretty crazy dream. It’s the first time of this sort that I have ever had. As many of you know, our Tuesday writer, Mike, is my boyfriend. He lost his wife, Megan, in 2014 to Cystic Fibrosis and I lost my fiance, Drew, in 2012 in a crash. We’ve been dating now a few years, and still nothing like this dream has showed up…
The Hammer
This morning, my cousin posted an image on Facebook of a hilarious guitar magazine parody called “Mediocre Guitar.” My husband Don loved music, especially guitars. He owned 7 or 8 of them at all times, and was always hanging out online at guitar websites and message boards, and giving free lessons to his fellow online guitar-enthusiast friends, on…
1273
1,273 days. That’s how long I have been a widower, as of this very moment. It’s an arbitrary number…over 1,000, not quite 1500. Not an even number, nor a prime number. It doesn’t signify a specific milestone or even an approaching one. It’s just Tuesday, 1,273 days since Megan’s death. I’ve now been through 3 of her…
How-to: Mother’s Day
As Mother’s Day approaches, I always tend to think of Megan a bit more. Many everyday things become somehow intertwined with a memory or anecdote about her, simply because she was Shelby’s mother. Even mowing the lawn brings thoughts about the fact that she had to close all of the windows in the house due to the smell of fresh cut grass…
Passion
Over the last 532 days, I have taken a fair bit of time to think about my future. After much thought and consideration, I have concluded that my life will be magical again – eventually. I know that my life will be everything I ever dreamed it could be. Life will be beautiful – again. Maybe even more lovely than I’ve ever imagined… And,…
Ink to Remember
I’m writing you all on my phone, in the back room of a tattoo shop in Cleveland. An odd place to write from, and no, I’m not the one getting the tattoo… but my sister is. Her first. My nephew, her son, is apprenticing as a tattoo artist and is doing hers. This is in so many ways so very cool. Getting to be here for it and watch is something I’m…