Today, Tuesday, is an anniversary of sorts for me. It isn’t an anniversary connected to Chuck, since it happened after he died. And yet, it is entirely connected to him. Because today is the day, 5 years ago, that I picked up my new Ford Escape from the garage, and the man, I’d taken it to after buying it from the dealer. I took it directly…
Miscellaneous
Let it Be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDYfEBY9NM4 It’s one of those “jumbled” days, where it feels like I have nothing worth sharing with the world. Alison shared the same sentiment in her writing this past Wednesday. I’m approaching four years of widowerhood, and I’ve been writing here for three and a half. What else am I to say? I…
Go Love on Life
Widowhood does not come with a map. In the beginning, there are no familiar landmarks and the curves on the road are unfamiliar. As you set out on your way, you will spend a great deal of time bumping into things as you shimmy along, and that’s okay. The important thing is that you are moving and forward momentum is always a good thing. …
Through an Unthinkable Fire
Last Thursday, all of my closest friends flew in from around the country for our annual trip to see each other. Since 2012, when Drew died, we have been making it a point to come from far and wide to spend a weekend together celebrating his life and our friendships. We call it Drewfest, and this year was our sixth year. It was the first year having…
An Unexpected Return Home
Well I made it. I made it through the first wedding since Tin passed only two months ago and it was followed by the next day being the first Father’s Day without my father. There were times I couldn’t hold back the tears and times I couldn’t catch my breath. I felt like a stranded fish. How ironic to be a crying stranded fish that needs salt…
The New Crew
Tomorrow, Wednesday, is officially the beginning of “Drewfest” 2018. It’s an annual summer get-together of Drew’s friends, usually taking place somewhere in Texas, with the specific goal of having a fun weekend together as if he was still around, yet remembering he’s not. It’s a great endeavor, and one that in and of itself should…
My Favorite Song
Music was always playing in both our homes. And, now there are certain songs that bring me back to a better place in time. A time, when Mike was alive. A time, when I was in love with a man who stood before my eyes. Our familiar songs take me back to a place in time where he exists. A time, when he breathed life and love into me. A time,…
Navigating My New Normal
It’s been 7 shorts weeks since I lost my Partner of 4 yrs. – Clayton, or as my family calls him “Tin”. Right now I am sitting, ironically, at the Atlanta airport on a layover to go home to Boston for my cousin’s wedding. Tin and I met in Atlanta and left the city to move to the beach, get married and make a life. Everyone has been…
All the Responsibilities
The last little bit has been very busy for me. I have report cards due at school tomorrow and I’ve been sick (again). I’m finally getting over it but I’ve fallen behind in the things I need to do. So I’m writing this at 10:00 pm at night, just after finishing report cards, which is not like me but I haven’t had any other time. Not to…
A Friend I Never Knew
As luck would have it, today is Tuesday, my day to post my rambling here on Soaring Spirits. It is also the 6th anniversary of Drew’s crash, and the 4th trip around the sun since I began getting to know him. Through stories told by Sarah, his parents, and his friends, I’ve made a friend…a sort of widow pen-pal, in a way. It’s odd,…
These Shades of Pink
Chuck wants me to tell you he wouldn’t leave you without a road map. He wants you to be aware of the markers he’s left for you, both physical and metaphysical. Whatever you’re doing, keep on doing it. You’re on the right track. Did you know that you’re surrounded by so many angels that I can’t even count them? You’re protected. These…
Weak at the Knees
How do I bring the girl he fell in love with back to life? I miss her. I am working on rebuilding myself. And, the new version of me is different. I am changed not by choice, but by design. Not all of me survived his death. But, the core of who I am and who he loved still remains. So, here I am using the bones of my old self as…