Sometimes, I long for a normal day. I no longer have normal days. I no longer have what most people would consider to be a normal day. Today, I woke up, and went to my 2x per week physical therapy appointment for my arthritis and bone spurs in my neck, resulting from hours and weeks and months and years of sitting and typing furiously, this…
Weightless
I just returned from my 500 billionth Camp Widow. Okay, I’m exagerating, but not by much. Besides, I lost count long ago on how many times I have been honored to be a presenter at this amazing healing place called Camp Widow. July 13th was the 7-year mark of Don’s death. Camp Widow began on July 13th. Friday the 13th. Nothing incredibly weird…
Fire and Rain and Huge Grief Triggers
So last month, June 14th, was my one-year anniversary with Nick, my new love. My new beginning. My “next great love story.” I never know how to refer to us, but thats another post for another time. I dont like the term “chapter two”, because he deserves way more than a chapter, as did my dead husband Don. But back to the point ……. I just…
Just Like That
Next month will be 7 years since my beautiful husband Don went to work one morning, and never came home. Life has been life. Ups and downs. Years of therapy, grief counseling, writing, healing, processing, finding my tribe, finding myself, re-creating myself, and here we are. I am okay. Some days, I am better than okay. I am filled with purpose and…
I Cannot Be That Person
It is Thursday evening, and in the morning, around 7:30am, my boyfriend of almost one year, will be having surgery. It’s not life-threatening surgery or anything, (hernia operation) but my “sudden death widow anxiety brain” is screaming at me otherwise. I have been thinking about all of the things that could go wrong, thinking about sudden death,…
PRESSURE
This year is the 10 year anniversary of Soaring Spirits International. This Sunday is the official anniversary day of when Michele founded the non-profit. July 13th weekend, I will be presenting once again, at Camp Widow San Diego. July 13th will be the 7 year anniversary of my husband Don’s sudden death. July 13th, my book about his…
The Hammer
This morning, my cousin posted an image on Facebook of a hilarious guitar magazine parody called “Mediocre Guitar.” My husband Don loved music, especially guitars. He owned 7 or 8 of them at all times, and was always hanging out online at guitar websites and message boards, and giving free lessons to his fellow online guitar-enthusiast friends, on…
Losing a Friend
So the book I have been writing about my husband’s death, and life in the aftermath, is finished. It is now in editing, and should be ready for publication for July 13th. One of the sections in the book is called “Words About Don”, where I asked a handful of his close friends and family to write up a few words/couple of paragraphs or so, about a…
Book Anxiety
So, after about 3 and a half years or so of writing and not writing and then writing again, and then the last 6 months or so of REALLY doing a TON of writing and not being able to look at computer screens anymore because my eyes hurt so bad – I am finally finished writing my book. It is FINISHED!!!! I handed it over to my editor 2 days ago, and…
Second Time Around
Does our soul get more than one soulmate? Yes. And no. This is what I believe. …. Our soul is perhaps the biggest part of our makeup, as human beings. It is what carries all the important stuff. Emotion, heart, love. I think that with life experience, age, and time, our souls change and alter some. I think after the death of a partner or…
My Husband Died, And I Am Not A Child
Have you ever felt as if, since losing your partner or spouse to death, the outside world treats you like you are a child? Perhaps I am just extra sensitive lately, or maybe I am slightly resentful that I’m a 46 year old woman who had no choice but to move in with her parents after 5 years alone of struggling financially post-loss. Whatever the…
Opposing Teams
I became a NY Yankee fan in the 1990s, when I went to NYC for college. It was the Joe Torre era, and baseball in NY was exciting. Going to multiple games at Yankee Stadium with college friends, it was tough not to fall in love with it. When I started dating Don, my late husband, he wasn’t really into baseball. He said it was boring, and asked me…