Thanksgiving can be tough if you are living with the death of someone you love. One thing I have learned during this 8-year long (so far) grief tsunami, is that talking about the person I love who died and sharing stories about them helps greatly. Remembering them with love , acknowledging that they lived and they matter, is not only important, but…
Be Thankful. Or Don’t. Be Wherever You Are.
Be Thankful. Be grateful. So many people have it worse. Do these above statements sound helpful to you? Do they sound like compassionate or empathetic things to say to a person who has been recently widowed? Does this sound like a good way to show you care? I don’t think so. And yet, when I was first widowed , back in the summer of 2011,…
Death Becomes Me
I never would have pictured myself being so ecstatic and thrilled and jazzed up to talk about death and loss and grief. I never would have thought my heart would beat faster at the thought of making another widowed person laugh at something dark, through their tears. I never saw it coming that my life would consist of comforting people and…
Loss Connections
Next week I will be attending Camp Widow in Toronto, Canada. I will be presenting two workshops there. One is my usual “My Husband Is Not a Rainbow” comedic presentation about grief and loss. The other is called “Widowed Improv.” Basically, we will be playing fun improvisation theatre games. With widowed people. This will be the 3rd or 4th…
Conversations with the Widowed
So, since I have been writing for this blog for a number of years now, which I love doing, there are times when I either: A: cant really think of anything new to say or write about without sounding like a broken record, or B: get tired of hearing the sound, or the type, of my own voice and my own story. When that happens, which is the case…
Phases of Widow
Its been a little over eight years since the sudden death of my husband and my world came crashing down like a tsunami, and so far, it sure has been one hell of a storm. Today, for no particular reason at all, I suddenly realized how the word “widow” has shifted and changed for me over these years. And, Im guessing, how it may continue to…
Dear Dead Husband
Dear Dead Husband, I will begin by saying that I cant believe thats still a thing. You being dead. Im kind of over it, if you want to know the truth. At this point, I feel I have learned all the life lessons I can possibly learn about death, Ive taken the pain and found the funny, and Ive used my grief to help others. What more do you want from…
Birthdays
Birthdays, after loss, are emotional, difficult, challenging, complicated, heavy, layered events. His birthday. My birthday. Each year they come around, there is an inner sadness feeling that is simply there, the same way that air exists in the universe. It is there, and so I carry it. Last night I spent my birthday having dinner with a table…
Money Woes
I’m really broke. Again. I’m really tired of being broke. I’m really tired of talking about being broke. I’m really tired of typing and writing about being broke. Even when my husband Don was alive, we struggled financially. Everyday. But he worked and I worked, and we helped each other out. He started helping me out way before he moved in with me.
Its About You
For a few years now, I have been writing in this blog each Friday. I love doing it. But there are times when I feel almost selfish. Times when I get bored with my own words and thoughts. I start thinking: “ENOUGH ALREADY about ME!!! Im tired of talking about me!!!” But that is how writing feels. When you are in the moment of writing, it…
The Stress of Being Stressed
This will not be a long post today. I apoligize. I think I just spelled that word wrong. I apoligize for that too. Recently, I got my Real Estate license. Also recently, some very big things have happened that affect my life greatly. Things have changed and altered. The future I was looking toward, finally, now has a different view. Its…
Removed
I was talking with another widow the other day, and she told me that lately when she looks at the pictures on her wall of her and her late husband, it feels like it was someone else in those pictures. It feels like some other life, or another lifetime ago. She said she used to feel really sad when looking at the pictures, but now its more of an…