Our world is unforgiving of those who grieve, Those who mourn. We get a bit of time initially, of course. Mostly, anyways. Thankfully. But, too soon, we hear through words unspoken and spoken, Through actions of those we know, or don’t know… That we must be different than we are. Be this or that, Something other than what our heart and soul is…
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Once Upon a TIME
Still, After one year, six months, and six days, Almost every thought still begins with you. I am unable to live completely in the moment, And, I struggle to be present, Because, In my mind, I am endlessly travelling to a better place in time, Again and again. I return to this place, Where you existed once upon a time. ~Staci Sulin~ Time. …
Meeting in Dreams
This past week, I had a pretty crazy dream. It’s the first time of this sort that I have ever had. As many of you know, our Tuesday writer, Mike, is my boyfriend. He lost his wife, Megan, in 2014 to Cystic Fibrosis and I lost my fiance, Drew, in 2012 in a crash. We’ve been dating now a few years, and still nothing like this dream has showed up…
The Hammer
This morning, my cousin posted an image on Facebook of a hilarious guitar magazine parody called “Mediocre Guitar.” My husband Don loved music, especially guitars. He owned 7 or 8 of them at all times, and was always hanging out online at guitar websites and message boards, and giving free lessons to his fellow online guitar-enthusiast friends, on…
2 Years: Gone Today and Everyday
Sunday will be 2 years since Mike died. I keep thinking that I am getting it wrong. It can’t possibly be 2 years already. I feel like I just saw him. But then I feel like I haven’t seen him in an eternity. The whole while I still can’t believe I’ll never see him again. I see his picture and I think, “how can I never see him again; that…
My Beloved
My beloved, How thin, or thick, is the veil Between your world and mine? Is there a world for you? Or did you just disappear into nothingness? Are there alternative worlds in which You and I exist at a different time? Still together, still living our lives, Living and loving passionately, Instead of me, living here, alone, Feeling all that…
1273
1,273 days. That’s how long I have been a widower, as of this very moment. It’s an arbitrary number…over 1,000, not quite 1500. Not an even number, nor a prime number. It doesn’t signify a specific milestone or even an approaching one. It’s just Tuesday, 1,273 days since Megan’s death. I’ve now been through 3 of her…
Mothers. It’s Complicated.
Mothers. It’s complicated. Being a mother. Having a mother. Not having a mother. It’s all complicated. The truth is Mother’s Day can be a lousy day a lot for some people for various and unique reasons. Not everyone has a mother on earth. Some have a mother who is alive, but absent from them. Some are truant by choice; others are not present…
You Have Been my Best Surprise
This amazing little girl came into my life quite unplanned 3 years ago… when I hadn’t even expected to find love again, much less a child. Now I’m waking up on mother’s day morning, and I am the one being celebrated. This is still so surreal to me. Of all of the hard or scary things in my life, this is one that I chose. I didn’t choose to…
Losing a Friend
So the book I have been writing about my husband’s death, and life in the aftermath, is finished. It is now in editing, and should be ready for publication for July 13th. One of the sections in the book is called “Words About Don”, where I asked a handful of his close friends and family to write up a few words/couple of paragraphs or so, about a…
Pretty Lucky
I’ve heard that when you feel you are struggling with your writing it is because you are writing what you think you should write instead of what you truly feel. I can’t find the actual quote right now (it was much more eloquent than that) but that idea has been on my mind for a while. Since I saw it really. I’ve wanted to write and share…
Love, In Time
Where, my Beloved, did you go,That long-ago night when you left me?Where did you go,That darkest of nights forever ago,But yesterday?Watching as your chest quivered in and out,Until it quite simply…didn’t.And my heart that was your heart that was my heart again, and yours,Shattered and splintered,Even as it crystalized into nothingness and…