I sometimes wonder what would happen if all the wishes people made on stars came true. Where would my life be today if my whims were met by the imaginary wish granter in the sky who hears the things our hearts whisper when we witness those flashes of light across the night sky? One thing is certain, my heart has definitely not been whispering over…
widowed suddenly
On My Way……
On my way to North Carolina, to sit next to a widowed fiancée who called our hotline and wanted another widow by her side, I stopped in Atlanta. With all the travels I’ve been doing the past year I have come to terms with the face that I will see numerous amounts of men and women in ACUs. Today was the same. As I stood at the gate my ACU radar…
Sometimes Healing Hurts
When a friend is sick you hope they will get well soon. If you know someone who has cancer, you might pray fervently for them to be cured. After you’ve had surgery, a friend might call to tell you they hope you will heal quickly. But what about when someone dies. What do we wish then? After Phil’s death I feared getting better. I didn’t want to get…
As Promised… Question #19
When did you clean out your husband’s closet? (For our new readers: Over the past several years I have interviewed many widows about their day-to-day life after the loss of their husbands. I asked all of the women I spoke to the same fifty questions, all practical inquiries about everyday life. Many readers have asked me to share my answers to…
Shovel Time
I made the choice to go into my office to throw the bundles of trash I have stacked in different places all over the room. One bag had a can of his dip that he left over R&R, bundles of every receipt from when he was here, and the lip gloss I wore when I was able to kiss his lips. I got through many of the boxes which led me to the closet…the…
A Lighter Shade of Grey ….
Today’s post is really for all of the “newer” women who are on this path …… the one we didn’t want to be on, the club we didn’t want to join. I was trying to think of what to say to a new friend whose husband died a few months ago. She is in the middle of what I call the “black”. I am not a veteran in this process, by any stretch of the…
Celebrating Moms
Sports practices, music lessons, school meetings, homework, school projects, dinner every night, getting multiple children to different locations at the same start time, crying for daddy, asking where he went, consoling, advising, figuring out what the best solution to the problem is when you only have one opinion to consider….any of this sound…
Innocence and Storytelling
This is my four year-old nephew Ethan posing with his beloved cousin Caitlin. Yesterday we celebrated several family events with a day at the park. In a quiet moment Ethan and I had a conversation that went like this…. E: Auntie Neechelle, where is your husband? M: Well E, my husband was your Uncle Phil and he died when you were just a baby.
Take My Hand
I had sand all over my feet and the wind in my face. My eyes were closed as I stretched my arms out wide as I could and I balanced against the railing of the life guard tower. I held my palms up as if waiting… expecting David to take them, I almost felt as though he did. I took deep, careful breaths… I wanted David. I caught myself whispering,…
Regrets?
I’ve been thinking about regrets a lot lately. Not about Jim and me. No way. He knew that he was seriously loved and adored …… as did I. I have no regrets about us and our marriage, other than it wasn’t long enough ….. not by a long shot. This past weekend was our youngest child’s (Son #3) Confirmation. This was our first…
Unimaginable
My life path has never included poverty. Or prejudice. Or destitution. Or the feeling that my current life position was all I could ever expect. Overall, I have been greatly blessed. I live in a country where widows are able to inherit, own property, pursue a career, and manage their own affairs. Though prior to my introduction to the global state…
W.S.M.
What is a W.S.M.? A little acronym I came up with which stands for: Widow Soul Mate After losing Michael I had the fear of never meeting anyone else who could or would understand the pain, love, and grief that I was feeling. Luckily with my line of work, I have met many amazing people who are the epitome of survivors. In my travels through…