When I wrote my first blog post for this site in March of 2022, I shared what I refer to as my widow mantra. That mantra is to Be Brave. Stay Strong. Love Hard. You can read that post here: My Widow Mantra – Widow’s Voice (widowsvoice.com) At the time, I knew I wanted to […]
Widowed Effect on Family/Friends
Overwhelmed
Some days are just overwhelming. Wednesday night we discovered a water stain forming on the living room ceiling. I inspected the boy’s bathroom upstairs and there were no signs of water. Next, I sent a picture to my parents since they had watched my kids Tuesday night while I went to The Chicks concert. A […]
When Reality Hits
What a rollercoaster of a week it has been. Last Friday was both Erik’s and the twins’ birthdays. I used to love this day. How special it was that they shared a birthday with their father. How special Erik felt that he got his legacies as a birthday gift. Now I am conflicted about this […]
No.
Yesterday I had a video call with some of the widows that I’ve met at Camp over the last few years. We usually keep in touch via text, but it was great to look at their faces instead of the text bubbles. Recently, one of us had solicited advice on how to handle a situation. […]
Butterfly Fly Away
Last week I attended what I thought was my first funeral since Erik’s funeral. As I was driving up this cemetery hill something looked all too familiar. Then the flashback came. My cousin and I had driven up a similar hill for another funeral just a little over a month after Erik’s passing. I couldn’t […]
Will Weddings Always Be Hard
A fellow widow asked if weddings would always be hard for us to go to and I found myself looking back to the first wedding I attended after Tony died. It was an out-of-town wedding that took place 6 weeks after he passed. Six weeks felt so far away when I was on day 3. […]
Prepping For Camp Widow
In two days and 18 hours I will board a plane headed for Camp Widow San Diego! This will be my third camp. I’m so excited to go back and reconnect with my mighty squad of widows. I’m also looking forward to sleeping alone in a hotel room with no small humans demanding snacks. But […]
New Circles
A few weeks ago, my younger boys tried out with a competitive club soccer organization. Even though it’s a club, every kid that wants to join makes a team. Both kids happened to land on teams that have the same coach. Then, because I’m a sucker, I got roped into being the team manager for […]
The trickiness of “How Are You?”
Image by Markus Spiske on Unsplash Yesterday, a fellow widbud, a woman I have never met but who someone connected with me, and who lost her husband just before Christmas 2022 after a very short illness, wrote the note below. I responded to her with both sharing some of my recent writing on this very […]
Time After Time After Time After Time
Photos my own This is – and will continue to be – a weekend full of experiments. A lot of my life is still versions of experimentation, if not in the ways it was immediately post-loss(es) when even just venturing out of the front door and heading to the shops felt like an experiment. This […]
Press “send” for instant panic
Main image by Melanie Wasser on Unsplash Last Sunday, after I had arrived in Milos in the early morning but still too late to join the other intrepid swimmers for all day open-water swimming, I just pootled around. It was a blissfully leisurely day. I enjoyed a second breakfast, unpacked my belongings, had two short […]
Undercurrent of Fear
Fear isn’t always something we always talk about with widowhood. Losing Tony to suicide has put an undercurrent of fear beneath all of us who held him dear. This isn’t to say that we live our lives in constant fear, but it creeps out faster for us. When I call my mom at a weird […]