… for falling in love again? Ummmm …… not so much. I’ve heard and read a lot about this topic lately. I’ve seen what others have written about it. And I’ve seen quite a bit of guilt. Why? Why do we do that to ourselves?I use the word “we”, even though guilt is not an emotion that I am, or have, felt since I started dating again (after…
Widowed Effect on Family/Friends
Hanging with the Guys
Grayson is about to experience his 5th father’s day without his dad. The first few years were okay for him, but it is sort of difficult to get into a holiday like that one without your dad. We made cards, visited the cemetery, ate foods Daniel would have liked, did things he would have liked to do. We tried to celebrate it like we would have in the…
Stamps, Please
While at the post office I needed to buy a bulk amount of stamps for the AWP. I ask the lady if she can show me what designs they have available. She asked me if it was for a wedding or shower, “No,” I replied. She pulls out a Frank Sinatra set, another she had nearby, as well as the Purple Heart stamps. “Do you have anything else patriotic,…
Owning My Path
“As a widow you will learn that the only choice that ultimately brings peace is walking the path of grief that has your name on it. The only way to walk with grief is to meet it head on and know that those who have walked before you have survived.” ~Linda Perrone RooneyI found this quote over the weekend, and instantly wanted to share it with all…
In Awe
I have experienced using the word death, or the word grief, or the word widow and having people physically step away from me. I have been told that since I am young the death of my husband isn’t as large a tragedy as it might be if I were older, since I am sure to remarry. I have been asked whether or not I am “over” my husband. People have looked…
We Made It ….
Widowhood is a very, very long road but we made it past Thanksgiving, didn’t we? We may have not wanted to, it may have been yet another punch in the gut, it may have been less horrible than we anticipated …. but we did it.We all keep putting one foot in front of the other (most days) and as we walk we grow stronger and stronger. We don’t feel as…
Serenity Now….
Remember the Seinfeld episode where George’s dad keeps yelling: “Serenity Now”? He’s supposed to be chanting it in a low melodic voice but instead yells it during times of stress…. I think I’m going to try it! ;)The last month or so has been very stressful for me, and I’ve lost focus on the things that should matter to me right now. I’ve been…
Being Okay With Me
Last week was very difficult. More than one person took issue with the way I handled an issue or a choice, and one of the questionable decisions involved my opinion about the man who killed my husband. Finding out four years later that my choice was not appreciated hit me hard. And I found myself floundering in the abyss of grief once…
When there are no thanks to be given
As any of us widows and widowers know, one of the most trying times of the Annual Widowed Calendar is upon us. It’s impossible to turn on the TV or walk into any store without having it crammed down our gagging, grieving throats: The holidays. That formerly joyous, happy, oblivious time of year where we got to focus on fun, holiday frivolity;…
Four years ago
Well the countdown is over and today is the day. Four years ago today I watched my husband die when only moments before, he had asked me to climb into the hospital bed with him and he’d told me how hard this battle was for him and how much he loved me. We thought we were leaving the hospital the next day; he was only in for dehydration issues…
moving on, healing and getting over it
I’m sure that as widows, we have all heard these words in some form or other. “You’ll get over it one day.” “You’re young. You’ll move on.” “Time heals all wounds.” And the like. I remember the first time some well-meaning, naive person attempted to instill these words of ‘wisdom’ upon me. I think I wanted to drop them.The truth is that these silly…
The Gifts of Widowhood: Me
A friend of mine shared this picture with me earlier this week, and it made me laugh out loud. I’ve been told I’m pretty good at this particular skill. As an only child for the first ten years of my life, I was a pleaser. I didn’t like to rock the boat and went to great lengths to avoid conflict. Don’t get me wrong, I still wanted to get my way. I…