Or Have They? There are plenty of things about widowhood that are “stage” reliant. How many days, weeks, or months its been since our person died. How many years since they left us. But the category of “things they missed” seems to come round no matter the specifics of time. It’s a category that never […]
Widowed and Healing
When They Call You Mrs
I don’t find myself in many situations where there is an opportunity for me to be addressed formerly. 99.9% of the time I answer to Emily and Mom. Thankfully, my boys haven’t started calling me Bruh…yet. Last week I was volunteering at the elementary school for the bookfair. The kids get to shop or browse […]
Settling In
It was a busy week and last night I realized that I had no draft for today’s Post, a first in my year plus of Saturdays when I’d just push the Publish button. So today follows the theme of new starts, habits and outlooks in true form. I will randomly write on. On Thursday, I […]
A Wandering Poem Came to Me
To Teach Me of Myself The Universe is immense; yet, we are able to find ourselves if we pay attention. The Universe is a map for beginnings and endings; for what-if’s and what-about’s; for mystery. The Universe is filled with discarded satellites, remnants of rockets, memories of meteorites, and wandering poems to […]
Fleeting Sense of Safety
Ever since Erik’s passing my sense of home and safety has been fleeting. Every second of every day my mind is constantly filled with never-ending thoughts of things that need to get done, questions about the future, re-plays of the past, worry about the what-ifs, and everything in between. One of my biggest thoughts is […]
The One Where I Get Older
Last week, Tony was supposed to have his 46th birthday, but he is forever 43. Today is my 44th birthday. Each birthday since he passed has been a death milestone. The first one after he passed, then the one where I was as old as he ever will be, and finally now I am older […]
Pursuing the Practical:
What do I need in this moment? Along the path of grieving, I’ve found many practical and proactive steps I can take to avoid trauma and to tune into my needs on a daily basis. With therapy, books, and good teachers along the way, I am learning to respond to what my body, mind, and […]
Life in Concert
Since July, I have attended four different concerts headlined by amazing women. I had the privilege of seeing Taylor Swift, The Chicks, Beyonce, and finally, Pink. Each concert was unique and the feelings I took away from each of concert was just as different. However, the Pink Trustfall show this weekend is my standout. I […]
A New Manifestation
Today is the anniversary date of my husband Rich’s passing. I recently read a Post on the Soaring Spirits International Facebook page that discussed how we deal with “Our Month”, a time of year when we become hyperaware of a difficult milestone. Even if we choose to Power Through and act as if it is […]
What is Grief . . .
. . . someone asked. a puzzle an enigma one long and unpredictable complication . . . a testament to love. grief the remnant from the flood proof that love existed love’s receipt. The poet, John O’Donohue says it best: For Grief When you lose someone you love, […]
As the Seasons Change
The reality of the seasons changing is hitting me a little differently this year. This past week we took our family photos for the upcoming season and it was the first true holiday photo session I had joined in with the twins since Erik’s passing. It didn’t feel complete because the most important person to […]
Hiatus
I recently read a post on the Soaring Spirits International Facebook page which now serves as a writing prompt for me as it resonated with me at this stage of the grieving period. Even writing those two words “Grieving Period” is still difficult. That Post was about dealing with Face Book Memories which appear in […]