Yesterday, I got a bill from the lawyer who handles my estate plan. I have been tweaking this plan from time to time and still need to confirm the most recent changes. It is a simple plan, given I don’t have a wife or kids to consider, but I seem to spend undue time agonizing […]
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Bittersweet Reminiscence
Reminiscing is a blessing and a curse. The number of people who will ever know Tony is finite and that number will never be larger than it is today. I enjoy recounting stories with those who knew him well because we are usually sharing the memory. Even when I’m given the space, it’s harder to […]
18 Years
Today is my wedding anniversary. It has been 18 years since I married my best friend at the San Souci in Sea Cliff, NY. 18 years since the music literally stopped playing during our first dance, due to a technical error on the D.J.’s computer. 18 years since we danced our first dance not to […]
Remembering All Souls
This time of year brings the inevitable reckoning of a three year milestone. Each day, my Social Media feeds deliver me back to those days that changed my life forever. It is a blessing and a curse to be able to relive, in what sometimes feels like real-time, the events leading up to the day […]
Nervous Eating
Every day, I see small yellow and red leaves falling in the hundreds, relentless falling leaves coloring the lawn. The geese are gathering. Were they drawn together by chance to form the V-formations cutting across the Fall sky? Occasionally, I will hear them honking off in the distance. Robyn was first to spot the small, […]
Trusting Me
Which part of me do I trust? This is me in grief’s low spaces. Grief stricken. Broken. Vulnerable to pain. Feeling useless. What good is a broken bridge? Can I trust the broken parts of me? This is me in grief’s growing places. Evidence of my brokenness is visible. Yet I […]
Future Inquiries
“Are we going to get a stepdad?” my then 7-year-old asked me. It had been less than one month since Tony died. Like all deep questions posed by children, this one was at bedtime. It was a question for which I was unprepared. I do remember stumbling through an answer. If my widow memory is […]
Let the Sun Shine in. Or Don’t.
I’ve been in my apartment now for about 2 months. Selling our home and going through this divorce has been challenging, emotional, and difficult, to say the least. The emotions are very complex, and they tend to change a lot, depending on how life is going that day, how tired I am, and how I’m […]
Cones of Uncertainty
I thank Mary Moore Hughes for posting for me last Saturday. Living in Central Florida, we’d found ourself twice in a brief span of time in what is called The Cone of Uncertainty, and uncertainty it does bring. Being without internet made it impossible for me to post and I asked Mary to present a […]
NY State of Mind
My wedding anniversary is coming up on October 27th. It would have been 18 years, but instead, it is forever just under 5 years. Don and I got married in Sea Cliff, New York, at a beautiful venue on the Long Island sound. To this day, that is one of the most incredible days of […]
50 Things
I honestly have not been in a writing mood the past week. Usually, at some point during the week, an idea of a topic will pop into my head, but not this week. I’m still recovering from the pinched nerve issue and trying to ease back into some normal activities. I’ve discovered just how much […]
Seniors on the Move
Tomorrow Robyn and I are off to New York City for Robyn’s birthday weekend! It is not her actual birthdate. That occurred in August. Consider it a belated celebration, although, as I recall, we also celebrated heartily on her real birth date. We enjoy any excuse to celebrate together. And, why not? *** Originally, we […]