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Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

In the Moment, In the Middle of it All

Posted on: March 29, 2020 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

While it is important to stay up to date on all that’s happening in our world right now…  it’s very important also to have some days each week that are as close to normal life as possible. Days that are about being out in nature and exploring and laughing and living and maybe forgetting about all of this a little bit. I have to seek the ways I can still live life so that I can lean more into living and lean less into fear, and make sure to do that stuff often.

Categories: Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Miscellaneous

In the Space of Another’s Pain

Posted on: March 8, 2020 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

To be inside the space of another’s pain is one of the most sacred and private spaces to share with another, and for them to allow you into. For that reason, I think it does us all well – whether we have lost someone or not – to remember this sacredness, and to recognize those moments when they come. Do not squelch it with platitudes. Be silent, be committed, be fully present, and let them and their emotions lead.

Categories: Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions

Quagmire

Posted on: March 1, 2020 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

Sunshine and mild temperatures don’t mean that the worst is over…they simply mean that the weather that will floor you comes from the ground up.

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness

When the Volume Gets Cranked Up

Posted on: February 23, 2020 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

And sometimes, when that other life slams into me, it feels like both of these separate worlds are cranked up to 100% volume simultaneously and it’s incredibly traumatic.

Categories: Widowed Memories, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Emotions, Multiple Losses

Grief, Milestones, and Motherhood

Posted on: February 16, 2020 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

Maybe the very hardest part about being a mom as someone who has lost their own mother so young, is that I cannot ever turn off one wish. That strongest of wishes that I could will a miracle upon miracles for her and bring her mother back.

Categories: Child Loss, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Milestones, Multiple Losses

Widening the Gap

Posted on: February 9, 2020 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

This past week, Sarah and I marked our five-year anniversary as two widows, together in a relationship.  Meeting at Camp Widow in 2015, we found ourselves just simply “connected” somehow…so much so that we were actually asked if we were siblings at one point that weekend. But, this isn’t a story of how we met, or even of the five years…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Milestones

No more Second Fiddles

Posted on: February 2, 2020 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

A few weeks ago, Mike and I wrote a joint post together about some of the challenges of two widowed people dating. The metaphor that we mentioned, which is a common one, was of being second fiddle… the idea that each of us sometimes feels “second” to the person that came before us in our partner’s lives. It’s a bit unavoidable now and…

Categories: Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Uncategorized

What’s hard for Two Widowed People in Love: Two Second Fiddles

Posted on: January 19, 2020 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

A while ago, Mike and I wrote this post together about some of the things that are harder about being two widowed people in a new relationship. In that post, we talked about how we aren’t ever able to really pull the widow card on one another, because essentially – it’s canceled out. We’ve both been through an equally hard pain.  We have…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love

Wounds that Never Close

Posted on: January 12, 2020 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

So many people in our modern society are not well versed in the ways of grief. When you have never lived a year, or five years, or 50 years with the death of someone you love, you just don’t know what that will mean or be like. I have both the fortune and misfortune of having lost people at a young age… and so while I still have relatively…

Categories: Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions

Orbiting Closer

Posted on: December 29, 2019 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

It’s almost the end of the year. In a few days, it will be the 8th time I have welcomed a new year that Drew will not be alive to share in. The years have now stretched on for so long that it has all become so surreal. Eight years used to be something I was so afraid of. That first year or two, I could not fathom being 8 years away from him.

Categories: Widowed and Healing, Widowed Milestones

Talking to Fear

Posted on: December 8, 2019 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

Yesterday Mike and I booked the first big part of our honeymoon for next summer – a beautiful cabin set in between Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks. It’s exciting for sure, but also, terrifying… Why does something this simple have to be so scary for me? I spent entirely too much time online checking reviews and double checking other…

Categories: Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions

Illusions of Control

Posted on: November 24, 2019 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

I wonder at times if we put more pressure on ourselves because of being widowed. I feel like I am always trying to keep everything running smoothly, as if since being widowed I just want life to operate as a well oiled machine with as few hiccups as possible. I guess that’s understandable… to want to avoid anything particularly surprising or…

Categories: Widowed Suddenly

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