Today is Christmas Eve Eve. As a solo parent, who is prone to overprogramming there is so much to do with so little time. I found myself trying to do it all today. I wrapped up work for the holidays, grabbed last minute stocking candy, cleaned the house, cooked dinner, packed the kids for Christmas, […]
Blog
Sun Standstill
Today, December 21st ushers in the first official day of the winter season in the Northern Hemisphere and Capricorn season, which is technically my season and a reminder that my birthday occurs in less than four weeks. This holiday season presents a “First” as it is the first Christmas I’ll spend without my mother. I […]
Obsidian
The dictionary definition of obsidian is, “a hard, dark, glasslike volcanic rock formed by the rapid solidification of lava without crystallization”. It’s one of my favorite rocks and always has been. I remember first encountering it when I was about 7 and I was on vacation with my parents around Mammoth in California one summer. […]
Soup and Sandwich
I met Paul and Joann for a “holiday” luncheon. Paul is Lee’s brother; Joanne is his wife. I hadn’t seen Paul for several months, and it is more than one year since I last saw Joanne. I had just finished parking my car and was about to feed a meter when I saw them exit […]
An Eye on Two Worlds
Brings a Bit of Healing Magic There’s nothing like a Christmas movie to bring the magic of the season to the present moment. Tonight I watched The Christmas Chronicles on Netflix which brought alive memories of the Spirit of Christmas from childhood—an enchantment! I recall just a few of my childhood presents…my Toodles doll is […]
Even Santa Can’t Do This
It has been a whirlwind of a season. When the holidays came around this year I told myself I would focus more on being present for the twins than worrying about to-do lists. I told myself I would focus on letting myself feel the grief I needed to during this time rather than pushing it […]
Friendship and Grief
Over the last week, I’ve been reflecting on friendship. When you lose your partner, often you also lose your best friend. Losing your best friend changes the dynamics of how you share information. There is no longer one person to call for everything. Throw in widow brain and you won’t even remember who you’ve told […]
Caregiver
My late husband Don was a caregiver by nature. I know I have said this before, but perhaps not in enough detail or with enough bravado to properly explain how caring and patient and loving he was, and genuinely loved being. Yes, he was in EMS for his career choice, but even aside from that, […]
House Hold
This week began with a visit from long-time friends from New Jersey that still live on the same road as Rich and I had at the New Jersey Shore. They were visiting other NJ refugees that now reside along the coast about an hour from here and spent the day learning about rural Central […]
Winter Break
2024 is rapidly coming to a close. It’s been a difficult one and usually around this time I start reflecting on the year and looking forward to the next one. I also often take a break during the holidays to work on my own business and get some end-of-the-year downtime. Today, I’ll be driving Mario’s […]
Taking Account at Year’s End
In my family, December is dying time. Mom passed away in December a few months before Lee and I married. I still can see my father crying softly during our wedding ceremony, sitting by himself, his wife of more than fifty years gone from his side. Thirteen years later, on a Sunday in December, Dad, […]
Three Widows and Grief
One of us was working too hard. The other was wobbling on the ladder of memories on her death-a-versary. Each of us with our long list of widow-worries and widowed woes showed up to help the other. Being together was unplanned. Beyond what one might expect, being together brought […]