I’ve had many dreams of Jeff since his death. There are a few that are terrifying renditions of the last few minutes of his life; but the vast majority centre on seeing him again in a variety of surprising locations. I’ve found him on dairy farms slogging through the mud. I have glimpsed him on boats passing bridges that I stand upon. I have found…
Blog
Today
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu It’s Veteran’s Day, and it comes every year with many people asking what I’ll be doing. How I’ll be honoring a day that my husband fought and died to be recognized as a part of.I guess in a way these days (Veteran’s and Memorial Day) are not so…
“Kevin”
Kevin was a fictional character on the award-winning Australian television series “Sea Change”. Kevin ran the local caravan park and on the surface, he appeared to be a fairly one-dimensional character – a gullible, but honest single-father doing the best he could on minimum wage and abilities. ….. but doing it with an air of a man who…
Should I Write …..
…. if I Feel “Happy”? Ahhhhh ….. an interesting question, and one I’ve asked myself several times when considering what to write about on this blog. I’ve never come to the conclusion that I should stop writing here ….. but I do sometimes wonder. Especially after comments like those that were written yesterday. Am I, and my grief, less…
Ode to a Frog
Kim’s blog this weekend got me thinking…fondly reminiscing about the “joys” of dating again. This blog isn’t really a poem…more of an epic journey, the story of a quest. I met my husband at the ripe old age of 16, and married him at 22. We did date other people for a while in college, but really – he was “the one” from the beginning. Fast…
A Son’s Perspective
I was sitting in the living room, warmed by the fire, with my boyfriend Abel to my left, and my son Remy to my right. I was trying to think of what to write about, then saw a perfect opportunity to find out what my son thought about his dad, a widower, newly dating again. My husband, for those who do not know, died a little over two years ago. He…
Lets Talk Men
Ok really? I am not dating any more I’m done. No seriously, this is just ridiculous. I stopped dating a few months ago. Why? Because it was putting a damper on my little widow parade! I am not sure why these men feel it’s okay to do what they do. I am not sure how they have gotten this far in the dating world. I am not sure how they tell…
The Why’s
***This is a post I wrote 3 years ago today. Almost a bookmark to my progress.*** Why: adv. For what purpose, reason, or cause; with what intention, justification, or motive Now we know there are definitions, but in this case it is three letters that come together to become a word that has a way of haunting those of us who have felt cheated of a…
In my closet
I wore Jeff’s work coat the other night – Halloween night. It was the first time I have worn it in the three years since he died. I haven’t wanted it to lose any of his smell, cells or presence by donning it myself. But with it on, I felt warm, cuddled and protected from the cold Autumn wind biting at me as I followed the kids down a variety of…
The Passing of Time
Six years ago today. Six years ago today started with a horrific shock at about 1 in the morning. It happened so quickly I can hardly believe I was there for it, or that it was real. One moment I was laying with my head on Daniel’s chest listening to his heart beat, and moments later the ER staff were in our room fighting to save his life. They…
Mixed Tears ….
….. were flowing down my face today. The man in my life, V, was holding me. He had spent the day taking care of me after he took me to a hospital bright and early this morning so that I could have a procedure done on my shoulder. I had to be put under so they wanted to make sure that someone would be staying the day with me, to keep any eye on…
Troubles with Facebook, Women and Badges
Hanging out a while back I was chatting with a female friend-of-a-friend having a great (non-romantic) time. Eventually, we decided we should become Facebook friends. I suggested she find my profile and send me a “friend request.” She typed and searched as I spelled out my name (‘C’, ‘H’… yes “Chris”. “Weaver” – ‘W’,…