I pause and think sometimes often as to the pressures put upon those who grieve. Upon widow/ers, certainly, though I know it pertains to pretty much anyone who grieves. The griefers, as I call them us. What pressures? you might ask, though I know if you’re a widow/er, you know exactly what I’m talking about.Oh, you know…the pressures put…
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Half-finished
Lately, it seems as if any and every project I have going on is halfway there, with no completion in sight. There’s the half-finished garden path Sarah and I are installing, a fence we are putting in around the vegetable area, still half-built, a half-stained deck, a “mostly” painted bedroom, and one of three cars has been cleaned and waxed…
Cut from the Same Cloth
Mike and Shelby went to the Father-Daughter Dance last night. It’s always a night I love, because it’s so much fun to see him pulling out all the stops to go out with his little girl. With his three piece suit and a tie and pocket square to match her dress… he is always one of the best-dressed dads at the event, and is always out there ready…
That Polo Shirt
Its sixteen months into this new life and like all others on this journey I’ve taken many steps forward and many steps back. A couple of months ago making the decision that I would prepare myself to put John’s clothes away. I decided to give myself a timeline of two months to do this. During this two month timeline there were days that I felt…
You Would Be Proud of Me If You Weren’t Dead
So, one week ago today, on March 31st, in NYC, in a big giant concert hall and an even bigger audience watching the online live-stream, I was one of 11 speakers, chosen to give a TED talk, at the TEDx event, held at Adelphi University. My talk was titled: “When Someone You Love Dies, There Is No Such Thing As Moving On”, and it was all about how we…
Times Gone By
I’m enjoying my last few months in Kona working at the restaurant. It is situated just a few feet from the water; the view is stupendous. The people are friendly and fun – this includes the staff and the customers. So it’s really not a bad place to be in any regard. I often find myself gazing out over the ocean and the other quaint buildings in…
Months of Meaning~
The number 4 figures loudly and persistently for me this year. The month of March figures just as hugely. The end of May rings loudly in my heart too. Chuck and I lived on the road, adventuring in our Happily Homeless travels, for 4 years. In those 4 years, we traveled all of the lower 48 states and oh, the sights we saw. I saw places and…
A Shared Darkness
Hi readers! Mike had some things come up and wasn’t able to post today, so I’m dropping in to take his place! He will be back with a new post next Tuesday! It isn’t so often that I meet people who have been through as much darkness as I have. Although I know there are plenty of people who have, it’s not exactly like there are clubs for…
Dear new widows,
About a month ago a woman, with whom I worked briefly, experienced the death of her son by suicide. I did not reach out to her until last week. I wanted to, but I also knew she was being bomb barded with emails texts and phone calls. When I did write to her, I just wrote the truth, the raw very un-pc truth. I did not expect a response; I just hoped…
Your Story is Worth Telling
If there’s something powerful about telling your own stories, there is something equally profound in hearing someone else tell your story to others. For centuries, we have been telling stories. Well before we could write, the most important and valuable knowledge we had as humans was passed down through stories and spoken word. And although our…
Kelley Lynn at TedX
Dearest Friends: Today I will stand before an audience of thousands and deilver my TEDx talk titled: “When Someone You Love Dies, There Is No Such Thing As Moving On.” The talk is a message for everyone. Not just widowed people – everyone. It is about love and loss, and the way that we, as a society, mishandle the language and behaviors we…
The Blank Page
Every writer experiences it. Staring at the blank page. Sometimes no words come at all, and sometimes, there are so many words we’re not sure which ones to put down. Grief is kind of like that. Sometimes we sit in blank stupefaction while the horror of our new reality without our spouses showers down around us. Other times we are inundated with so…