Once again, I’ve been thinking bout the past. I know everyone always says, the past is the past, and I get that, but the past has also made me what I am today. Everything I’ve ever done has led right to this moment in time. Sometimes, it’s only through looking back, that you have realizations […]
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The Widowed
Wedding rings on or off. Belief in an after-life, or not. Belief that our person is near, or fiercely shouting “No! They are gone!” Some of us move quickly toward another relationship to fill the void. Some of us believe they are present in a new way and hang with them daily through […]
Am I Still Considered ‘Newly Widowed’ …
… since this is the second time I’ve lost my husband? I actually hadn’t thought about giving myself that label until someone suggested it. But Jim died just 9 weeks ago – so, of course, I am newly widowed. Since I went through all of this 15 years ago, perhaps I’m better prepared this time. […]
Holiday Travel
I’m sorry I bailed on everyone last week. It was on my mental to do list to request a repost blog, but I didn’t write it down. Most of us suffer from forgetfulness in widowhood and I am no exception. When I finally remembered I forgot to send that email, it was late Monday afternoon, […]
What if We Met Today?
I was chatting with a newer friend recently, and we were comparing how we were in high school. I made a comment like, “I wonder if we would have hated each other / not gotten along in high school!” This made me think, would Lynn like me now? What would it be like if we […]
Passing Holiday Milestones to Better Days Ahead
Just a few days ago, an archived Facebook photo from 2021 that I’d posted the Thanksgiving weekend four weeks after Rich’s passing, appeared in my Feed. At that time, my elderly mother had come to stay with me and although I truly wasn’t into holiday decorating, for her sake, I did. That memory made […]
The Last Thanksgiving
(Reposting from 2023, since every Thanksgiving I can’t help but this of this last one with Mario. Actual Thanksgiving this year I just spent a few hours with my mom and had leftovers from the Friendsgiving spread I did on Wednesday.) Trigger alerts for: addiction, depression, and bitter sweet holiday memories. The last Thanksgiving that […]
Seasonal Gifts
Lee’s brother, Paul, called yesterday to invite me to share Thanksgiving with him, Joanne, one of their grown boys, Andy, and Andy’s brood. He brought me up to date on Joe’s successful, recently completed Fall tour with his current musical group, the oddly named “Olllam.” Joe is Paul and Joanne’s other grown son. According to […]
The Immeasurable Power of Gratitude
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” –Melody Beattie Gratitude snuck up on me today. Gratitude is a wily beast! It captured me in a google search and surrounded me in its giant warm hug. It came to me through a poem from Melody […]
Two Times …
I lost my husband 15 years ago. I lost my husband 8 weeks ago. Yes, both of those statements are true. Twice widowed. Not something most of us would choose willingly, is it? But I did. I was quite vocal about never dating after Vern died. I wrote about it in my blog, I shared […]
One Chapter Closing, Another Opening
Many moons ago, I was a regular writer on the Widow’s Voice blog. In fact, in 2008, I was the only writer. My hope at the time was to offer a real, in-the-moment glimpse into widowed life as I was living it. After just a couple of weeks, it became clear that our community needed […]
Old Messages on Messenger
For no particular reason, I looked up Lynn and my conversation in my Messenger app. Honestly, I did not think we had ever messaged on Messenger, but indeed we had! Her first message to me was on August 12, 2009, and said “to see how this works.” There is only a small handful of random […]