I’m a 74 year old twice-widowed gal. What’s the point in putting the effort into setting some goals for 2026?  I’m just not feeling it at this point. Can I just plug along with this new alone life, randomly doing something fun or meaningful if it presents itself and I’m feeling up to it? Or must I make an actual list of some things I might like to do or accomplish or experience this year?

January always seems to beg for a new start or a new goal … or  something … to fill up this brand new year ahead of us. Social media is filled with all sorts of options to consider.

So I bought a new planner and a pretty new journal. I selected my Word of the Year. I signed up for an online writing class and another online workshop that sounded like it would help me get on the right path. And I booked an AirBnB at the beach. I also purchased a couple of books I had been wanting to read.

But here we are two weeks into the new year and my planner and journal are still blank. And I didn’t make it to even one of those live online sessions I signed up for. Now the good news is that I do still have access to all of those workshops and class replays and I can start now on using my planner and journal … but will I?

It’s not that my life is so busy that I don’t have the time. My life is actually pretty slow and humdrum these days. I’m retired, so no job to take up my time and no grandbabies. Yes, I do have lots of ‘stuff’ to sludge through. Closets and drawers and paperwork and a full storage shed. Jim’s son isn’t coming here until April or May to pick up the things he wants, so I don’t have a quick deadline to get those things sorted. But I do think I need to get a formal to-do list going so I don’t just lose track of the things that do have deadlines.

Can I blame this ambivalence on my grief?  I suppose I can. It’s only been 15 weeks since Jim died. I know I should be kind to myself, just like I tell others to be. Life last year was hard and was consumed with Jim’s health issues. I’ve needed these quiet days to try to replenish myself.

I’m happy that I made the trip to spend the holidays with my brother and sister-in-law. I nearly came up with an excuse to cancel it, but grateful I did not. And while I’ve given away or sold many of my hockey game tickets, I did go to a game with my son the other night. But to be honest I feel most comfortable holed-up here in my home with Sheila. Not answering the door. Not answering the phone. Sitting out on the back patio doing nothing. And maybe that’s ok.

It’s only the second week of this new year, so perhaps I need to just forget about the date and get started. Just start. I’ll check in with you here next week and let you know if I was successful.  Oh … but I can say with all certainty that I WILL be going to that beach AirBnB.