I’m here at Camp Widow in San Diego. I videotaped the room full of us widows clapping. And now that I am trying to post it, I’m not sure it’s working. Frustration is on my shoulders, my wrinkled brow and scrunched up eyes. After an hour of searching and trying solutions, I don’t know if any of them will work and I feel defeated and completely…
widowed parenting
Contentment
On vacation with the kids in Ixtapa, Mexico. My financial struggle having just ended. Not sure what to write about it. After all the months, (years really) After ALL these months of anger, sadness, resentment, hopelessness, joy, surprise, discovery, light, regret and hope, I find myself at odds with ……dare I call it, contentment.I’m not sure.
When Will You Be Done?
Lately I have been asked by more than one person when I think I might be done with this whole, “widow thing.” Hmmm…done. Well I guess that depends on the definition of done. See the thing is, I will always be widowed. Remarriage doesn’t erase my widowhood. Being happy doesn’t erase the memories I have of lying in bed dry heaving as I screamed in…
hindu temple
today you went to your first muslim mosque (just realized i didn’t take any photos of that) as well as your first hindu temple.you met a ton of very friendly people and learned a little bit about cultures other than your own. don’t worry… i don’t expect you to remember everything you learned today. we’ll come back here a lot as you get…
Grief, Parenting, and Coping
Parenting is both overwhelmingly rewarding, and unrelentingly challenging. Some days we glow with pride at the accomplishments of our little angels; other days we may wonder how our best laid plans went awry. Sharing parental duties with a wonderful partner definitely helps manage the roller coaster ride we call parenthood…there is someone to…
are you lonesome tonight….
I’m not dating. I have gone on a few….dates. But it never felt right. But neither does this loneliness. I don’t want to go through the hassle of meeting, dating, getting to know the other person’s “issues”, introducing this person to family and friends, getting giddy when they come around, having our first argument, finding out that they have an…
Honest to a Fault ….
…. is what I can sometimes be …. I think. Some people do not enjoy my honesty on my personal blog. I’ve learned to hold back on some things ….. things that will have an effect on those I love. Although sometimes holding back puts me in a very, very lonely place.I wish that I could just pour out every single feeling that comes my way when…
Little Faces
Tucking Grayson into bed the other night – “Mom, will you lay down with me for a few minutes?”. Who can resist that? I crawled into bed with the little guy, and promptly fell asleep. I didn’t sleep for long, maybe five minutes, but when I woke up, I was lying on my side looking at him in profile. It took my breath away how much he looked like…
Death Grip
For the last couple of weeks I have been in Australia with my three kids, my daughter’s best friend, and my fiancé. We spent ten magical days touring, laughing, learning Australian phrases, introducing the kids to Michael’s friends and family, and exploring our new family dynamics. We couldn’t have asked for a better first togetherness trip.The…
the perfect father
Lately, Liv and I have been struggling. We have been fighting arguing about everything from whether she should brush her extremely knot-filled hair before departing for the day to whether older sisters are ‘allowed’ to speak to their younger brothers in a hatred filled voice to whether it is her job to clean up her mess. She claims that my…
didn’t think about it
i thought about it from time to time, but i wasn’t sure i’d ever come across it again. i had a vague sense of where it was, but it’s not like i i really end up near this place all that often. so the memory could have remained just that. i’ve gone much further to find the places i’ve wanted to rediscover, and this one is so…
i didn’t think about it
i thought about it from time to time, but i wasn’t sure i’d ever come across it again. i had a vague sense of where it was, but it’s not like i i really end up near this place all that often.so the memory could have remained just that. i’ve gone much further to find the places i’ve wanted to rediscover, and this one is so…