I’ve had a couple of really beautiful, full-circle moments recently. The sort that have reminded me in such sweet ways how totally interconnected my old life and my life now still and always are. This past week, we finally got my couch moved into Mike’s house from the garage. And by my couch, I really mean Drew’s. I have been dragging this…
new love
An Agreement with Death
Hey readers! I’m filling in for Mike today, as he had something come up and was unable to write. He’ll be back with us next Tuesday, so until then, I’m here to wander through some of my own thoughts of late and see what bubbles up… Mike and I have spent the past few months moving all my things to his place, as many of you know. After a…
Because of the Love that came Before
Yesterday was one of the most beautiful and hope-filled days I have been a part of since I began this entire widowed journey. We were in the woods, standing tall in the trees, three widowed people and a little girl who lost her mother. The setting itself was magic, and made even more-so when we heard of the significance of that place. For our…
The Springtime of my Heart
The crocus is a flower that blooms in early spring here in Ohio. So early in fact that it’s one of the first glimpses of spring you will see peeking through the colorless shell of winter. Year after year, these vibrant beauties bring with them the first moments of hope towards spring coming. Today as I am reflecting back, and as the seasons are…
My Goodbye Post
I found Soaring Spirits the day after my husband died from depression. I googled the term ‘suicide widow’ – reeling from shock that these strange words were now something I needed to make sense of. One of the links that I clicked contained the heart-felt words from a young widow named Melinda who had also lost her darling husband Sean to…
Leaving Another Nest
I have decided something huge in the past few weeks. Something I have been working to make space for in my heart for about the past 3 or 4 months. It’s time, much sooner than I’d planned (story of my life)… I am moving in with my new love, Mike. As I spend most of my time at his house, it is getting harder and harder to live out of two…
An Unwritten Chapter
Sometimes I take for granted how much Dan’s death affected me psychologically. I coast along, feeling like I’m doing ok and am happy, healthy and in control. Until, like a booby trap, something blows up and the trust issues, abandonment issues and general fear of getting close to people or losing control detonate and wreak havoc in my mind. I…
Breathing In and Breathing Out
I’m batting jet-lag to write my blog today, so I apologise in advance for any typos (or any more than usual!) and if I ramble on a bit. I got home to Brisbane, Australia on a red-eye flight from the USA this morning, after three weeks away. It was a wonderful holiday, with the highlight being Camp Widow West in San Diego, however I reeeeeally…
Missing Two Worlds – But Going Back to One
I’m writing this from an AirBNB apartment in the heart of New York City, a loooong way from my home in Brisbane, Australia. I flew out here for a holiday with a good friend (and fellow widow) after attending Camp Widow in San Diego last weekend, and we’ve been having a wonderful time. This was my third Camp Widow and while Kelly Lynn spoke about…
Still Healing, Still Growing
I’m sorry for the late post, I’m at Camp Widow in San Diego this weekend and while I usually post by 5pm Saturday when I’m in Australian but I forget that with the time difference here in the US, my deadline is midnight Friday! It’s been a very different Camp Widow experience for me so far. For the first time, I’m here with four of my Aussie…
Strange New World
Thursday was my third wedding anniversary. This one felt slightly different to the previous two, however it was still as sad. The night before, I stayed at my boyfriend’s place and when we went to bed it all caught up with me. I couldn’t believe that this time three years ago I was spending the night with my bridesmaids, getting ready to…
A New Beginning
I’m at a strange and new phase in my grief. My third wedding anniversary is looming on Thursday (all of which I’ve had to mark without Dan, because he died before we had the chance to celebrate one together). This is a time that is usually difficult and emotional. However… my whole compass for what is ‘normal’ in this world without him has…