Things are coming to a close here in Tampa this morning. We expected it to feel exciting to return back here a year later… except this time, so many things have gone wrong. The pool at the hotel has been closed, creating some difficulty to finding quiet places to talk with fellow widows. On Friday, we looked at the time wrong and missed the…
Widowed
Visiting with Old Memories
This Wednesday marked my husband’s 37th birthday. This was the third I’ve had to mark without him and surprisingly, I found it to be somewhat different to the past two. I woke up thinking about what we might have been doing if he were still here. On his last birthday, his 34th birthday, I’d snuck out of our room the evening before and…
A story story
Mike was always at the forefront of new technologies… Ha now there’s a sentence which is surprised at having been strung together. Mike was certainly not the most adept at such things…probably what I meant to say was that he loved to see all the techie gadgets that came along during his lifetime and then buy them and try and figure out how…
This Seemingly Never-ending Road~
Is it just me? I wonder, even as I know it isn’t just me. Logically and because I literally know otherwise, it isn’t just me. There’s a boat load of men and women through time immemorial who have lived this shit that I’m living, that we’re all living. And yet, my brain doesn’t let up about it.Why are you still so traumatized, Alison?…
The Simple Life
My wife suffered from a long-term illness, Cystic Fibrosis. When I say “long-term”, what I actually mean is “life-long”. There wasn’t a day that I knew her where she didn’t have some sort of symptom or complication directly due to her condition. Even after her transplant, every day was filled with special medications, dietary and…
“It Isn’t Just Me”
It’s less than a week until Mike and I will be flying down to Tampa for Camp Widow. It’s so surreal to think of all that has happened in a year. Life is no less complicated than it ever has been, in fact more so for me. It’s a good complicated, but that doesn’t make it easy. I was talking with another widow friend the other day about this. Like me,…
Robbed of his 37th Birthday
This morning I woke up and was unexpectedly very teary. I’ve had a great week, I’ve been on holidays, started studying again, enjoyed some really happy moments with family and friend and feel like I’m in a good place. Yet here they were, the sadness and the anger, paying me an unwelcome and un-invited visit. Then I remembered, this coming…
A Wandering Widow
I am traveling…yes, I’m off island once again. My poor little pink suitcase I bought the year after Mike died had to be taken out of service because the stitching actually ripped open this last trip, it’s been used so much. I can’t remember ever having a suitcase get worn out…and I can’t remember when in my life I’ve stayed in so many…
On Being Cherished…and Kissed…
I was cherished in this life. Cherished by a man who determined, from the time of meeting, that I was the one for him. Cherished by a man who set out to show that love to me each and every day of our lives together, in word and deed.This is the time, 3 years ago, that my beloved husband, Chuck, and I, began, so very unknowingly, our final 2 months…
Camp Widow Lite
It’s been over a year since I attended my first Camp Widow. In less than two weeks, Sarah and I will be travelling to Tampa again to attend this year’s installment. I’d be remiss to say that we weren’t incredibly excited. Not only do we get to see, converse, and connect with widowed friends that we don’t regularly see otherwise,…
Sharing Grief and Taking Steps
A lot has been going on this past week. Most notably, birthdays. I wrote last week about Shelby’s birthday and all the emotions it brought up for me. I don’t think it is any coincidence that my mom’s birthday was just a week after Mike’s daughter’s. And thusly, as happens most years, emotions are high. For years now, I have been…
A Different Experience of Missing Him
I’m interstate at the moment celebrating a dear friend’s 40th birthday. She lives on the other side of the country (I live in Brisbane, Queensland and she lives in Perth, in Western Australia). I’ve been here to visit a number of times now, it’s a great opportunity to have a holiday and see another part of Australia while catching up with my…