Isn’t it weird and incredible what we can do if we have no other choice? Our traumatic experiences, before they happened, seemed foreign and impossible. They seemed like things we would not be able to survive. And we definitely never thought we could not only survive but function and do the “tasks” of grief. But […]
Widowed Suddenly
Shamrock Reflections
When you pick your wedding date, you never imagine that day could one day bring heartache. All the focus is on the celebration and the happy life you are building together. It never even crosses your mind that one of you could be left standing alone. Tony and I would have been married 15 years […]
My Widow Mantra
I was going to start with an introduction post as my first post, but I think you’ll get to know me in time. Plus, I don’t think I can write a full-on intro post without it feeling like I’m writing another eulogy, so here goes something different. I have never been a self-help, New Year’s […]
My Farewell Blog…
This will be my last blog. My life has become so full that I no longer have the necessary time to dedicate to writing. This is so very different than in the recent past when I had too much time on my hands. I distinctly remember the feel of those days when I had nowhere […]
Winds of Change – Part of living
I originally wrote this blog five years ago on February12, 2018 to be exact. If you have followed my writing, reading this, you will recognize the evolution of grief. Over the years, the content of my writing has changed along with the tone of my grief. This blog highlights how grief can change with time.
As always, I hope my blog helps; and I think those who are just beginning down the path of grief will especially relate to the words I wrote so long ago.
Undone.
A partially written Master’s thesis. Half-completed songs. Medication bottles with pills still inside. An unmade bed. A guitar halfway strung. Bills unpaid. A bottle of water never finished. A face of stubble never shaved. Laundry that needed washing. Tickets to concerts never to be attended. A cat that needed to be fed. Work and volunteer […]
Resurfacing 2022
I originally had these thoughts in January of 2021. And, a lot has changed since this time. It is true that a lot can happen in a year’s time. If you told me how different my life would become in a year I would not have believed you. I reread this blog and I stand […]
Who am I Revisited…
This is the first blog I ever wrote for Widow’s Voice. I wrote this on December 11, 2017. A lot of time has past since I first wrote these words but what remains true is that I am still asking questions. ~S. Life after the death of the person you love demands that you […]
The World’s Loss
Sometimes I get sad for other people’s loss of Boris. Not only people he knew but also the people who never got to meet him. At times this grief feels worse than my own even though I know it isn’t. Boris was so many things to so many people. And then there are the people […]
Holding Pattern broken
I wrote about feeling restless in year three and I am happy to say that this restlessness has disappeared for the most part now that I am in year five+ of this widowhood thing. Grief changes thankfully. I am no longer consumed by emptiness and sadness is not my baseline anymore. For me, life is […]
Coffee and Changes
One Sunday morning in 2019, I stood staring into the cupboard. My eyes saw all the familiar coffee mugs lined up. Though they are inanimate objects, the mugs seem to be shamelessly shouting “pick me” from their distinguished spots on the shelf. *Sigh. Which one should I select. Which mug do I want […]
Beginnings Revisited
I did not die.
And, neither did you.
I am still breathing.
And, so are you.
It’s that plain.
I can make his death as complicated as I want to, but really it is simple.
Mike died. I didn’t.