Just before Christmas, in 2002, Megan and I met. A few weeks later, and I was already invited to her family’s home for Christmas dinner and gifts. I was accepted into their clan with open arms, and I’ve been a part of their family ever since. I’ve been at Christmas dinner in 2005, not long after Megan’s brother died. I was there in…
Widowed Effect on Family/Friends
A Few Steps
Earlier this week I made the trip from my home in Kona, once again, to my parents’ house in Virginia. I am grateful for the reprieve back on the island, where I was able to attend my stepdaughter’s wedding, visit with friends, my boyfriend, and find some rest. Now, I am in Charleston, SC with my mom. We planned this trip to see whether this area is…
A Christmas Surprise
Yesterday, we received a great big box in the mail. Shelby drug it in through the front door, and we slid it across the living room floor, near the Christmas tree, to open it up. I zipped a pocket knife through the tape and she pulled open the top of the box to reveal presents of all shapes and sizes. She squirmed with excitement, while Mike and I…
Home Is Not a House
I’ve lived in lots of places in my life so far. I was born in Maryland and raised in Arlington, Virginia until I was 6, at which time we moved to nearby McLean. I attended Georgetown University in Washington, DC and lived on campus there, moving each year, in the dorms and residential housing. After college I moved back in with my parents, and then…
Precious Gifts
One of the most precious gifts from my marriage to Mike is that I have, for the rest of my life, two beautiful stepdaughters. They were grown when I married him, but still very young, 18 and 22. Now, one is mother to three beautiful children and the other just got married this past weekend here in Kona. Let me tell you – I am deeply grateful I was…
I have to go home
Well, the deed is done. Dad is in a home. But it’s not his home. We are crippled with sadness. Coming back to the house afterwards reminded me so much how it felt at my house after Mike died. Like the energy was sucked up into a vortex and we were left with this black emptiness.We know in our hearts no one will be able to give him the kind of care…
Her Beautiful Smile
I learned this morning that a good friend of Johns passed away yesterday afternoon, in the same way that he passed. Her passing is all too familiar and stirs up so many emotions. Following the shock I was overwhelmed with sadness for her and her family, the future they no longer have and that she no longer has. Grief consumes and there are no words…
You Can Fly
I sat down this chilly morning in Virginia to write this update. I’m working from my iPad here, and midway through I got up to take a shower. I closed my iPad. When I got back downstairs and opened it to continue writing there was, strangely, a song playing. I hadn’t opened the music app on this thing – ever. I don’t even know what music is on here…
A Quiet Moment
I’m taking advantage of a quiet moment when dad is sleeping to put down a few thoughts for this week’s blog. Because when he is awake, our moments are not quiet. Bless his heart, dad is just uncomfortable in his own skin. He can’t sit still and is constantly asking for help, even though he’s not sure what he needs help for. He is wobbly but he can…
D-Day
For any new readers, this is a continuation of my current situation which involves being back in Virginia, where I grew up, from my home of 15 years in Kona, Hawaii, where I lived with my beautiful late husband until his death in 2013 and further into my strange new world without him with a new boyfriend and my dogs, until the foreclosure is…
What Matters In The End
Most of you who have been reading here for awhile know how my husband died. Mike had a heart attack in his sleep at age 59. It was the most devastating shock I’ve ever lived through and I will spend the rest of my life recovering from it. The pain of that grief, I know now, will always be there.But you readers also know, if you have been following,…
Transition
I’m sitting here in my parent’s beautiful backyard on this kind of surprisingly balmy early fall evening in Virginia wondering what on earth I can say about what’s going on in my life right now. How can I describe the agony of change and decision and helplessness while keeping private things private? How can I honestly tell my dear fellow widows…