I’m taking advantage of a quiet moment when dad is sleeping to put down a few thoughts for this week’s blog. Because when he is awake, our moments are not quiet. Bless his heart, dad is just uncomfortable in his own skin. He can’t sit still and is constantly asking for help, even though he’s not sure what he needs help for. He is wobbly but he can…
Widowed Effect on Family/Friends
D-Day
For any new readers, this is a continuation of my current situation which involves being back in Virginia, where I grew up, from my home of 15 years in Kona, Hawaii, where I lived with my beautiful late husband until his death in 2013 and further into my strange new world without him with a new boyfriend and my dogs, until the foreclosure is…
What Matters In The End
Most of you who have been reading here for awhile know how my husband died. Mike had a heart attack in his sleep at age 59. It was the most devastating shock I’ve ever lived through and I will spend the rest of my life recovering from it. The pain of that grief, I know now, will always be there.But you readers also know, if you have been following,…
Transition
I’m sitting here in my parent’s beautiful backyard on this kind of surprisingly balmy early fall evening in Virginia wondering what on earth I can say about what’s going on in my life right now. How can I describe the agony of change and decision and helplessness while keeping private things private? How can I honestly tell my dear fellow widows…
Rapid Fire
I’m not sure how long I will be able to continue to write here at Widow’s Voice. It breaks my heart to think that, and to write that, but various things are moving at a seriously rapid pace and I can barely keep up. I hired an attorney to walk me through the foreclosure. And I’ve already purged a lot of my stuff so hopefully that process…
Reconnection
I am not a social animal normally. Megan would have to drag me out of the house, kicking and screaming, to get me to “go out” with anyone other than her and Shelby. I would casually suggest that the three of us just go do something on our own, or spend a relaxing evening at home watching movies or reading. It never really worked…I…
Death and Friendships (not)
The fact that a decades old friendship is dead in the water and it doesn’t bother me says to me that it’s been floating belly up for some time, and I just never really noticed. Friendships die for various reasons; it can be something small that suddenly becomes a catalyst, or it can be something big and you just can’t ignore it. I guess what…
Home-Base
Megan and I bought our home in June of 2005. For nine years, it was “our” home. I had the outdoor spaces…lawn care, gardening, the garage, and landscaping were all mine to take care of and shape into something I enjoyed. Megan had the inside. Knick-knacks and decorations, paint colors, organization, and general decor were hers. …
A Dance In The Dark
I’m in Virginia now visiting my folks, in the house where I grew up. The summer after Mike died I visited here too, and was inconsolable…memories of texting my friend and fellow widow Margaret late into the night, sobbing, tears streaming down my face…unable to conceive of a world, or a life, without him. Every visit since tinged with those…
Spinning the Wheel and Moving Forward
I’ve followed a somewhat standard path in my adult years. Megan and I met in 2002, married and bought a house in 2005, and had Shelby in 2007. Notwithstanding her illness and the extra events associated with it, we had followed a fairly “textbook” sequence of events. We were effectively playing the “Game of Life”, spinning the…
Life’s Surprises
Yesterday I accompanied some friends to what I thought was going to be a Fourth of July party at the beach here in Kona. When I arrived, the host, dressed in white with a beautiful lei, handed me a program…we were actually there for a surprise wedding! A few people, it turns out, had known, but I had no idea. I had only seen my friend with her…
Meet the Parents
Sarah, Shelby and I are in Texas this week for the 4th annual get-together of her and Drew’s closest friends. This is the second time I’ve attended, and Shelby’s first. I’ve met these people before. They are all already friends of mine, albeit not as close as Sarah is to them, but friends nonetheless. There seem to be a lot of…