Forty and fabulous, for sure!! There is no doubt in my mind that this birthday may be one of the best ever for our wonderful Michele. I soooo wish I could be there, but if it is humanly possible to be there “in spirit” – I’m there.I had to change this post a little because of Michele’s post from yesterday. Her life in pictures is a great way to…
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A Mending Heart
Yes, I can feel my heart mending. Not healing, really, because I don’t think it will ever be completely healed, but it will mend and have a permanent scar upon it. But in the mending process I’m also finding out that it’s growing a bit larger. You see, I have met someone and we are truly enjoying each other’s company and learning to care for each…
My Screensaver Moment
The other night as I was wrapping gifts in my office, I glanced up at my computer screen. My screen saver is a slide show of all the photos saved on my computer. Each new photo brought a smile to my face as the last few years of parties, milestones, and random poses of family and friends lit up my desktop. While the images of newborns and…
Daffodils
I am like the daffodils that are blooming in my back yard (yes they bloom 2x a year in LA. I thankfully bloom more often.)I crumble, letting the dirt and cold beat down on my brightness, making me floppy and weak, causing me to brown and shrivel. I go within too tired to care anymore. It is there I find the sustenance, the nutrients, all that I…
A Stocking Full of Memories
Last Christmas my family started incorporating Michael back into Christmas by filling a stocking full of gift-cards, gadgets and more that Michael would have loved….but I could use. It was heart warming to see them remember and bring to life some of his favorite things and places from memories passed.This year my family arrived and handed over…
this day
As you wake this Christmas morning, you may feel alone lying in your bed. You may feel far from your beloved that you’ve lost. You may cry and feel sorry for yourself. You may watch your children open their presents as tears roll down your cheeks. But know that we are not alone.We are all facing this together. Your loved ones are with you, if in…
what she would want
i took maddy tothe same christmas tree lot we wentto last year. she helped mepick out a tree,something i alwayshated doing whenlizwas here.but i had to do it.i know this would have been a reallyexciting timefor us, maddy’s firstchristmas, but it just doesn’t seemreal, doesn’t seemright withouther.this year wedid’t buy the biggesttree…
Merry Memories
This Christmas the veil between where Phil is and where I am seems to be much thinner than in years past. Michelle and I once talked about the “feeling” of knowing our husbands were in the room.Michelle remarked that she wasn’t sure if knowing for sure that Daniel was right there would make her feel better or worse. If he were right next to you,…
Savor the Moments
Sometimes it seems that grief wipes out every feeling except despair. Nothing matters, no moment is free of sadness, food doesn’t taste good, family time is painful, memories are daggers to the heart, and life does not feel like a gift.But once in awhile a different feeling floats to the surface of the dark pool of loss. Maybe laughter at something…
Running With Phil
My husband LOVED to run. When we first began dating, he was training for the Los Angeles Marathon. At the time I could not imagine why anyone in their right mind would purposely run 26.2 miles, but as a newly in love girl I willingly accompanied Phil on many training runs. The upside for me was that my job only entailed riding my bike alongside…
Making Memories (and a few cookies too!)
It’s that time of year. The time when everything takes on a rosy glow (when you stop rushing around long enough to notice the glow….). The time of year when people smile a bit more, say nicer things to each other, and we are, for just a few days, the people we strive less successfully to be the rest of the year round: generous in thought and…
A Wary Merry Christmas
I spent last December 22nd in the emergency room, which isn’t necessarily an unusual place for an extremely pregnant woman to be. Unfortunately, I wasn’t there to deliver a bundle of joy but rather to find the source of the unrelenting headache that had kept Chris in bed for almost two days.Within an hour of arriving at the ER, my world started…