The holiday season is on me – not upon me, but really ON me – like a rash…I’m totally covered up. 😉 I’m not complaining, it is the fun things that are burying me, too many parties, too many friends, too much love. Clearly you can never have too many friends or too much love. My cup is Niagara Falls.This year is a different one from the previous…
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Holiday Feelings
I just returned home for an early Christmas celebration with my extended family. This is somewhat of a novelty, and we now live close enough to be a part of these type of celebrations on a regular basis. I had a good time, and love my family, but I did need to get in the right type of space to handle it.Earlier in the week I wrote about this on my…
Wonder Woman Returns
On Tuesday night, I went on a second date dressed as Wonder Woman. I know…right?!The back story: We tried to get together and then he was making cracks via email about how busy I am and then he asked if I was out saving the world, or something like that. He made a joke about my invisible airplane. His last comment to me before we met was…
Loveinity
This Thursday will mark our 5 year wedding anniversary. As I’ve stated through the years, this day has always been more difficult for me than any other…including the day he was killed. You see, I don’t define Michael’s life and our life together by the day he was killed, I’ve always defined it by our eternal love, and no day signifies that more…
two hands where four are needed
I recently found a “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Workbook”. It is full of quizzes and exercises to force you to look inward at yourself. This introspection makes me realize that I am pretty ‘normal’ if not, less ‘sweaty’ than the average person. I’ve been really enjoying ‘getting to know myself’ in the 5 minutes I take now and then to complete a…
my reminder.
sometimes most times when things are at their most difficult, madeline is there to distract me. remind me just how happy i can be.and she does this just by growing up. today, she sat silently mostly quietly on my lap in a theater in hollywood as we watched a movie. there was a little talking, but mostly it was laughing at the right times…
My Subconscious Mind ….
…. is sometimes a lot more powerful than I’d like it to be. Maybe it’s bigger than the rest of my mind. Or maybe it’s just a lot more determined to be in charge. All I know is that it’s very aware of the date on the calendar and it seems hell-bent on forcing my emotions to react to that memory …. even when the rest of my mind is going along…
Heavenly Day
Musical Tuesday: feeling great today, this is one of those songs that expresses it perfectly. Heavenly Day – Patty Griffin Oh heavenly day, all the clouds blew away Got no trouble today with anyone The smile on your face I live only to see It’s enough for me, baby, it’s enough for me Oh heavenly day, heavenly day, heavenly…
Teamwork
Our family received an amazing, unexpected Christmas gift of a very cool new TV. This weekend we went about shifting, rebuilding, figuring out cable connections, and placing the new gadget in the place of our old big screen. Somehow amidst the chaos, the daunting task of moving the old machine out to the garage ended up happening when the…
Exhausting Part 1.5
I’m too f’in exhausted to find a decent photo to add This is a repost from January Wow. Almost a year ago. I’m still too exhausted to think. Not sure how I’ll get through tomorrow. But there are three things I do know, that I didn’t know last January1. That I will get through tomorrow. 2. That this is grief. Friday would have been our 16 yr…
Presence
This week has been beyond one of my comprehension. One of new experiences, new travels, new bonds, and new horizons for myself and the organization.I found out about 2 months ago that some of my fellow widows submitted my story and organization to L’oreal’s Women of Worth. A program that aimed to showcase volunteers of causes, I then found out that…
what it is
Talking about being a widow is not something I always do….or want to do. Sometimes I need to talk about it. Express why I am attending a social engagement alone. Assure others that I’m not a ‘cast off’ – that my husband left me because he was physically unable to stay….not because he found me in bed with my tennis instructor.Now and then, I…