Ok really? I am not dating any more I’m done. No seriously, this is just ridiculous. I stopped dating a few months ago. Why? Because it was putting a damper on my little widow parade! I am not sure why these men feel it’s okay to do what they do. I am not sure how they have gotten this far in the dating world. I am not sure how they tell…
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The Why’s
***This is a post I wrote 3 years ago today. Almost a bookmark to my progress.*** Why: adv. For what purpose, reason, or cause; with what intention, justification, or motive Now we know there are definitions, but in this case it is three letters that come together to become a word that has a way of haunting those of us who have felt cheated of a…
In my closet
I wore Jeff’s work coat the other night – Halloween night. It was the first time I have worn it in the three years since he died. I haven’t wanted it to lose any of his smell, cells or presence by donning it myself. But with it on, I felt warm, cuddled and protected from the cold Autumn wind biting at me as I followed the kids down a variety of…
The Passing of Time
Six years ago today. Six years ago today started with a horrific shock at about 1 in the morning. It happened so quickly I can hardly believe I was there for it, or that it was real. One moment I was laying with my head on Daniel’s chest listening to his heart beat, and moments later the ER staff were in our room fighting to save his life. They…
Mixed Tears ….
….. were flowing down my face today. The man in my life, V, was holding me. He had spent the day taking care of me after he took me to a hospital bright and early this morning so that I could have a procedure done on my shoulder. I had to be put under so they wanted to make sure that someone would be staying the day with me, to keep any eye on…
Troubles with Facebook, Women and Badges
Hanging out a while back I was chatting with a female friend-of-a-friend having a great (non-romantic) time. Eventually, we decided we should become Facebook friends. I suggested she find my profile and send me a “friend request.” She typed and searched as I spelled out my name (‘C’, ‘H’… yes “Chris”. “Weaver” – ‘W’,…
old shoes and wooden spatulas
I’ve been sorting through our cupboards and closets and purging the least needed/most outgrown items lately in anticipation of living mostly indoors again after a summer in the backyard and beach. I have found mismatched gumboots, lost flashlights, a dried up snail and the odd coin. Most surprisingly, I have unearthed copious amounts of Jeff’s…
Today would have been our 14th wedding anniversary.
Fourteen years ago, I awoke in my childhood bedroom … well got up anyway … I was too excited to sleep much. My bridesmaid, my Mum and I quickly ate breakfast and took ourselves down to the salon for ‘hair and makeup’. We emerged hours later, coiffed and painted, but still recognisable. Everyone ate lunch … not me … I couldn’t eat for the…
One Thousand, Three Hundred & Seventy-nine Days ….
…. since I’ve heard three small words. I heard, or rather, read them yesterday. And I was stunned. I’m still stunned. I’m not stunned that I was sent the words, but am happily surprised. I am stunned at the impact those three words are having on me. I was stunned when I read them and I’m still stunned.This has been, and will continue to be an…
Sometimes You’re the Bug
Found this picture while looking for images that expressed how some of my days have been recently. This one made me laugh out loud! I’m glad to report that it isn’t as bad as all that…but there are moments when I feel like the shark is about that close. I think I sometimes lean heavily on the idea that “this isn’t hard, I’ve experienced hard,…
Meaningful Moments
This weekend I was out running a few errands with my daughter. We were at Lowes buying a replacement microwave oven. And, because I love gardening, anytime I’m at a store that has a garden section, there you will find me. I was walking down the aisle, pushing my cart, and looking at all the varieties of plants. I had something specific in mind, but…
He’s Not Here
Last weekend we moved. Our new place is smaller, more intimate. I like it. It’s simpler to manage. (There are only so many places Ezra’s left shoe can be!) It makes sorting through the boxes and boxes of stuff I should have sold, much simpler. (If it stays, exactly where is it going to go, Kim?) And I feel lighter here, less…