…but it’s better than the alternative. At least that’s what they say. I’m not sure who they are. They probably have never been widowed and had to live with the idea of getting old without our spouses, when we hadn’t planned on it… and they are definitely not being specific enough. Who wants to live a long life if you’re sick and…
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Upon This, I do Insist~
I wonder, frequently, when grief changed from a normal, human response to the death of a loved one, to a condition that, seemingly, must be gotten through (with all due speed, thank you very much for your consideration), with clinical protocols assigned to it? When did grief get designated as complicated and unhealthy and uncomfortable and…
Getting Around to It
In the spring, before Megan died, she and I decided to have a deck built on the back of our home. Nothing too fancy. It was to be a 12 foot by 12 foot square, with a new sliding glass door leading to it. We had wanted to have one on our house for years, and we were finally going to get it done. We shopped out for a few different…
Growing Me Up
Many of you know, in my “chapter two” or whatever we’re calling it… I relocated my life from Texas to Ohio last fall, to start a new beginning with Mike and his 9 year old daughter, Shelby. This summer it will be 4 years since Drew died, and this is the first relationship I’ve been in since that horrible day in the summer of 2012. There…
Dreams Coming True
In my first post for this year I spoke about setting my goal for 2016. In this piece I wrote, “I’m sick of treading water, I want to start swimming again in 2016. I want to propel myself forward and feel like my life is moving ahead again. So this year I’ve chosen ‘growth’ as my mantra. It took me a while to settle on this word, because…
Ride the Wave
So it happened. Yesterday happened, and Im still here. Still breathing. Still alive. Yesterday was April 13th, exactly 4 years and 9 months since my husband’s sudden death. Why is this so significant? Because Don and I got to enjoy the honor of being husband and wife, for exactly 4 years and 9 months. Then, on an ordinary Wednesday much like…
Swimming with Sharks
So my stepdaughter calls the other day – the one who lives here in Kona near me – and tells me she went out on a boat trip with a group of people and they decided to go pretty far out to see what interesting creatures they might find. When they are way out there they all get into the water. She says they did see two bottlenose dolphins, which is…
Oh, the Road of Crazy~
I really am crazy. I know it. But I must do a fairly good job of appearing not only not crazy but really rational and okay, because nobody else thinks I’m crazy. They would if they knew what my heart really looks like and what the inside of my mind looks like. But none of that is evident on the outside.It isn’t that I’m holding back to any…
And so they danced
Today our Widow’s Voice blog is sharing the words of John Wiggers. John wrote this story about his sister-in-law Wendy, whose liveliness and spunk touched everyone she met. What John didn’t know as he wrote these words honoring Wendy’s life, was that his wife Teresa, their children Brad, Kevin and Alison, and everyone who knew and loved John, would…
Passion from Pain
In just 3 days my fundraiser for the Meaningful Making e-course will be complete. In the past month and a half, I have raised over double my goal to begin work on making this online workshop. It will be geared towards those grieving, with the premise that students will use a combination of creative acts and storytelling in order to express their…
The Remnants of a Life
I recently wrote about my decision to move out of our family home and into a smaller apartment, better suited to my ‘single’ lifestyle. It will be a month or two until I actually make the move, however this week I started packing away things I want to put in storage and sorting out un-needed items to donate to charity or just throw in the…
Back to Start
My heart hurts tonight. And last night. And the night before. It just hurts. I feel sad. I feel scared. I feel everything. Remember those first few weeks and months after the loss, when you literally spent all of your time going from sobbing so hard that you gave yourself a migraine – to sitting on your bed or in a chair and staring at the…