When I found the Soaring Spirits International website, just after I’d finally gone online with my story and shortly before I became one of the seven widow’s blogging here at Widow’s Voice, I found a deep solace in the smiling faces on the photos of past events at Camp Widow. Here was a group of people dedicated to a beautiful community of…
Widowed
Next Year~and a Goal
Today I watched the flashmob video from Camp Widow. I was inspired to watch it after seeing the tutorial video on the Soaring Spirits Loss face book page.The tutorial. I barely got through it and only got through it with tears coming from my eyes and my chest feeling tight and sorrow filling every part of my body. And the whys of that were…
Not again…
I didn’t get to write last week… I was with my son in our local children’s hospital after he developed an autoimmune thingy. First while being assessed in emergency after some four hours of the usual waiting and it’s 2am, the doctors tell me even though he isn’t a typical presentation they suspect something called Kawasaki’s Disease, and the…
Survivors Club
I’ll be missing Camp Widow West this weekend for the first time since Dave died. I didn’t feel a drive to go this year. I know exactly what I’ll be missing not going, and that makes me sad, but the need to go has faded. I’m not sure what I’ll do next year when camp time comes around. I’m so incredibly grateful for its existence. I found Soaring…
My Parallel Universe
I’ve had a really tough few weeks. In some ways, it has almost felt like I’m right back at the start – crying from the moment I wake up without him in my bed until I pass out each night from exhaustion. Thankfully, it has lifted again in recent days but in the depth of this latest low I realised I was withdrawing from the people in my life in a…
Battle On
I have to thank everyone for all the incredible responses to my post last week. You warmed my heart and really helped me to feel a bit more okay with all of this mess – and a bit less alone. Trying to welcome a new life is SO not easy, but its a heck of a lot easier with friends like all of you. You encourage me to be honest with where I am at on…
Gone on the Fourth of July-Again
So, today is the 4th of July. I do not have any plans. In exactly 9 days from now, on July 13th, it will be the 3-year anniversary of Don’s sudden death. I think that what happened is that I got so anxious and determined to make sure I had a plan for that day, that I completely forgot about the major holiday that comes the week before, and all the…
Alien Life
My life feels surreal. A year and a half ago things were purring along with a familiar rhythm. My days were kind of predictable. I was married. I had a house. Things to do. People to take care of. Routines. I felt in control. Ha, laughed the universe. Now I feel like an alien being..like I was transported to some other planet after…
This~
I’ve been on the road for two weeks now with my daughter in this continuing Odyssey of Love. Not necessarily by plan but happening nonetheless, we’re traveling the same roads my husband and I drove in our first year out on the road. Not by plan only because all we know is that we’re headed north to Washington state, where we’ll turn East and…
A New Word…
…… that describes what I am. Much better than the old, much-hated word. I think it’s very interesting that the hatred of that word is almost universal. Men hate it as much as women do. The word? Any version of “widow”. Did you hate that word when you first found yourself described as one? I can remember the first time I heard it …… the…
Mysterious Waters
I spent a day unearthing minute details of Dave’s death the other day. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. The manner in which his death was hastened has a lot to do with the care he had and that has led to an investigation of sorts. It came to a head last week and I felt the physical blow which accompanies the rehashing of the day he…
Fitting Two Worlds Together
“It’s a new dawn It’s a new day It’s a new life For me And I’m feeling good” Don’t we ALL wish it was that simple?? Since coming home from my trip to Hawaii a few weeks ago, things have been rough. I wrote a post here trying to glean some of the positives from everything as of late – but really what I think I need to talk about is how freaking…