On July 12th, 2011, during another ordinary day in my previous life, I could have never in a zillion years predicted or seen coming that only hours later, my husband would leave for work and never return again. I could NOT have foreseen that he would be sitting at the computer desk in our bedroom one minute, and the next morning,I would be jarred…
Widowed Therapy
The Dance of Anger
This weekend, my widowed sisters (and brothers) have been basking in sun and friendship in my old stomping grounds, Tampa, Florida, at a Camp Widow weekend, sponsored by Soaring Spirits Foundation, and organised by Michele Neff Hernandez, the founder of this blog, and of Soaring Spirits. I have thought about them during this weekend, and wished to…
Not this…But, oh yes, This
Grief illiteracy has been on my mind quite a bit in the last couple weeks. Even if you don’t know that term, you’ll know what I mean when I tell you about my face-to-face with it. And you’ll nod your head and say to yourself (or to the room in general)….oh, yes….I keep a personal blog in addition to writing for Widows Voice, and I have for…
Giving Counseling Another Go
This week I tried counselling again. I am a strong advocate of therapy – not just giving it a go but, if it doesn’t feel right, trying another psychologist and another until you’ve found the right fit. I’ve had mixed success in the past but recently I decided to practice what I preach and try again. I’m so glad I did. One year, three…
Cinema Therapy
I was raised to keep my feelings to myself. Burdening my father with my feelings and needs was simply not something I felt safe doing. The consequence was that I repressed my needs and feelings for so long, and so well, that I forgot how to know what I’m feeling. It sounds crazy, I know. How does one not know what she’s feeling? You feel something…
Identities
I had a session with my beloved therapist the other day. I filled her in on what had happened since I’d last seen her and then she said “What do you think about coming to see me? Do you think you’re ready for a break?” and it was as if I’d expected her to ask me.I was only slightly hesitant to say yes. She asked me what came up for me as I’d…
Journaling through the Emotions
I’ve been going back over a lot of my old journal entries lately and picked one out to share a part of. For some years now I have been doing this inner-child dialogue technique… Basically having a conversation with that deepest, most vulnerable (and sometimes most wounded) part of myself by asking her questions and allowing her to share until I…
They Were There
“Why don’t you reread your Widow’s Voice posts from the beginning and see what kind of progress you’ve made.” My smart smart dude’s advice the other day when I talked to him about the possibility of identifying so much with widowhood that it was keeping me stuck in some ways. So I tried it. I didn’t expect to discover what I did. The overall…
Letter
I was looking through my miscellaneous writing pieces and found this letter I wrote myself during my writing workshop circle many months ago. The prompt we’d be given was to imagine you’re yourself from the future writing to the present you. I think I may have posted this before, but once is not enough for this one. I wish my internal voice always…