Fourteen years ago, I awoke in my childhood bedroom … well got up anyway … I was too excited to sleep much. My bridesmaid, my Mum and I quickly ate breakfast and took ourselves down to the salon for ‘hair and makeup’. We emerged hours later, coiffed and painted, but still recognisable. Everyone ate lunch … not me … I couldn’t eat for the…
Widowed Holidays
first
We made it. Through all the firsts. The firsts without Jeff at birthday parties, Christmas morning, through illnesses and accomplishments. His absence has been an aching void….almost a presence in itself. But time has continued its’ slithery journey. I look back over the time without my love and see that 365 days have gone by and no time at all…
Scared
This past week has been tough. Really tough. I was doing OK for a long while, surviving birthdays, parties and mother’s day … but this past week has brought me crashing down with a thud.There are many reasons for this – my son’s upcoming “procedure” and the worry over his ongoing health, my sister-in-law having some very scary health…
Proposal
You placed it onto my finger and our eyes met….making the agreement that from that point on our souls would be eternally connected….a searing of two hearts into one…no matter what lay ahead. 6 years ago you asked me the question that taught me that risk was a shorter word for following one’s heart. Nothing has been more clear or absolute.
Things That Made Me Cry …..
…. like this picture of Jim …. no longer make me cry. Well, the majority of the time. There are always “one of those days/weeks”, but they are few and far between now. Mostly.This realization occurred to me this past weekend. I was looking for a tote bag to use for my swim suit and towel and various other Fourth of July sundries. I happened…
Visualizing Change
I just returned from a camping trip with my brother and his family. It was at one of those family RV resorts, where everyone is parked next to each other, row after row. There were activities galore all weekend long, and lots of happy couples, excited kids, proud grandparents, and me.Well, that’s how it felt most of the time. I’m sure that to…
To be continued…..
This picture was taken in 2006 by me…you can see me in the reflection. The headstone is mine, it sits right next to Daniel’s on a hill in Ellinger Texas. It’s in the cemetery next to the church we were married in. I’m sure my family and friends thought I was nuts when I ordered two headstones for our double plot. What did I need a headstone for?…
A Child’s Grief.
I’m writing this on Sunday, Father’s Day. I just returned from visiting my folks, about 2 hours away. It seems that whenever the kids and I visit our extended family, especially on holidays, we end up having a debriefing of our thoughts and emotions on the ride home. Before I start, let me share with you my own reactions to days such as this. I…
Father’s Day, Independence Day
So I was gonna try and ignore Father’s Day. It’s Father’s Day and my kids don’t have one. I was gonna just treat it like every other Sunday only….Well last time I tried to run from one of the “big” days, like his anniversary death date, like his birthday, like random days when his loss seems to be around every corner, I get slammed,…
A Day That Will Live ….
(I wrote this post on my blog Saturday night/Sunday morning. Saturday, the 28th, would have been our 28th wedding anniversary.) ….in infamy. Or at least in history. Our history. Son #2 graduated tonight. He did it. In spite of …. so much. He. Did. It. On this day. This once very happy day.This day that used to stand for love, commitment,…
Memorial Day
Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May. Formerly known as Decoration Day, which was first recorded to have been observed by Freedmen (freed enslaved southern blacks) in Charleston, South Carolina in 1865, at the Washington Race Course, to remember the fallen Union soldiers of the Civil War. The…
I’m in between
I’m currently in between jobs. Because I wasn’t exactly sure when my new job would begin, I had to play it cautiously, and give two weeks’ notice to my most recent employer. It was a matter of jumping through many pre-employment hoops, then playing the waiting game of all the required documentation to be returned to the Human Resources office,…