Sarah, Shelby and I are in Texas this week for the 4th annual get-together of her and Drew’s closest friends. This is the second time I’ve attended, and Shelby’s first. I’ve met these people before. They are all already friends of mine, albeit not as close as Sarah is to them, but friends nonetheless. There seem to be a lot of…
Widowed and New Love
Missing Two Worlds – But Going Back to One
I’m writing this from an AirBNB apartment in the heart of New York City, a loooong way from my home in Brisbane, Australia. I flew out here for a holiday with a good friend (and fellow widow) after attending Camp Widow in San Diego last weekend, and we’ve been having a wonderful time. This was my third Camp Widow and while Kelly Lynn spoke about…
Still Healing, Still Growing
I’m sorry for the late post, I’m at Camp Widow in San Diego this weekend and while I usually post by 5pm Saturday when I’m in Australian but I forget that with the time difference here in the US, my deadline is midnight Friday! It’s been a very different Camp Widow experience for me so far. For the first time, I’m here with four of my Aussie…
Strange New World
Thursday was my third wedding anniversary. This one felt slightly different to the previous two, however it was still as sad. The night before, I stayed at my boyfriend’s place and when we went to bed it all caught up with me. I couldn’t believe that this time three years ago I was spending the night with my bridesmaids, getting ready to…
Changing the Walls
Yesterday, we painted a wall. To me, this was no ordinary wall, this was the last major wall in the downstairs of Mike’s house to change since Megan died. Now, when you look through the living room, dining and kitchen, all of it has a totally new color scheme from when she was living. Which leads me to talk about a very touchy aspect of…
A New Beginning
I’m at a strange and new phase in my grief. My third wedding anniversary is looming on Thursday (all of which I’ve had to mark without Dan, because he died before we had the chance to celebrate one together). This is a time that is usually difficult and emotional. However… my whole compass for what is ‘normal’ in this world without him has…
Choose to Trust
I’ve just returned from Arkansas with Sarah, after a 14 hour drive. It is with tired eyes that I briefly write this morning, but yet, a deliriously happy heart. We planned this trip to a tree house in Eureka Springs, AR over a year ago, not long after we met. Circumstances at the time meant that we needed to book this a year in advance,…
Making Plans Anyway
This morning I’m sitting some fifteen feet up in the air surrounded by woods, near the northern border of Arkansas, and it seems no accident that the book I brought with me to read is titled “The Gifts of Imperfection”. A few days ago, Mike and I made the 14 hour drive down to Eureka Springs. Why? To stay in a treehouse cottage, which has always…
Taking Another Step Forward
I’m exhausted. I’ve been packing, cleaning, sorting and lugging boxes all day, actually no – for weeks now. My bones ache, my feet are sore and I’m typing this through bleary eyes. On Monday morning, two guys in a van will be pulling into the driveway of my big family home, filling it with all my precious possession and moving me into my new…
One Risk at a Time
This was me, back in 2009. The week Drew and I began dating, we jumped out of a perfectly good airplane. It was a pivotal experience for me… and changed my beliefs in myself and how I dealt with risk and fear in my life. I have always been a cautious person, but every so often, I discovered after this day, I am able to make some pretty big leaps.
The Landscape of Love after Love
I’m writing you this morning from the bed of a roadside motel in West Virginia. The walls inside are all wood, the entire place looking like a big log cabin. It’s cozy feeling, with ruffled curtains, checkered blue and white bedspreads and warm corner lamps. I’ve woken up in a good mood, which I am infinitely grateful for, and hoping I can…
A Toast to Drew
Drew, It’s been over a year since I really started getting to know the person you were. Yesterday was your birthday, and as Sarah and I had a beer, we toasted to you. We sat quietly on the couch, tapped our bottles, and watched television for the rest of the evening. I wanted to write you a note about things. There weren’t any big…