As any of us widows and widowers know, one of the most trying times of the Annual Widowed Calendar is upon us. It’s impossible to turn on the TV or walk into any store without having it crammed down our gagging, grieving throats: The holidays. That formerly joyous, happy, oblivious time of year where we got to focus on fun, holiday frivolity;…
Miscellaneous
My Other Car is a Porsche
You know those bumper stickers that say things like, “My Other Car is a Porsche?” The implication is that the driver isn’t quite satisfied with their real car and that they have a much nicer one parked at home. I can appreciate this sentiment.My “other car” is my other life—the one I was supposed to be living right now complete with a…
When Is He Coming Home?
I want to write away the pain. Sometimes I think that’s why I write. I know that’s why I talk to people, why I spend the energy to explain to them what this process is like. The more I talk the more distance I have from the process. The more distance I have from the process the less like mine it feels. Or the more sense I can try to make of…
Ouch
I have been on my back for the last 3 weeks or so, nursing an inflamed sacroiliac joint. What a pain! Literally. Every turn and twist, every journey to the bathroom (all of 25 painful feet) and every trek to the kitchen elicits mild and not-so-mild expletives. Thankfully, my daughter is in school and the walls are my only witness. Of course, lots…
Widows and Dating (Only for those who are ready to think about it…)
Dear Wonderful Widows, Last night was the first evening of this month’s ‘Widows Dating Again Class’. It was fun and I know we all learned a lot. What struck me after the class was how truly vulnerable widows are. I don’t mean that we are vulnerable to unscrupulous men. We are vulnerable to our own need to connect, to touch, to be touched, and…
See You In My Dreams
Dreams take on a whole new meaning after the loss of your soul mate. They are a realm you travel to each night, with their population and surroundings always a mystery. Sometimes I have dreams in which I see my love; that smile, that face, that counterpart of my being. There have been times I’ve been able to speak with him and other times in which…
Where is the “Get Out of Jail Free” card??
I am typing away this morning with a winter cold. Runny nose, coughing fits, watery eyes, achy body…the whole package. Overall, I feel pretty miserable. Whenever I am sick, I am reminded of my mom bringing me soup and hot tea as a child. Sometimes my mind wanders to the way I care for my own children when they are sick (I am famous for…