Alarm goes off and it hurts to get out of bed. I was asleep by 10 pm last night and it’s 5am now. That’s 7 hours! 7!! Why am I exhausted? Up I go and into the bathroom. Brush my teeth, get dressed, take meds, get yelled at for food by the cat, walk the dog, pack my lunch, rush to eat breakfast, gym for 1 hour, catch up on texts, emails and…
LGBTQ+ Widowed
The Loudest Sound is Sometimes No Sound at All
So if you read my last blog, I was pretty stressed last week waiting for blood results and I’m happy to say everything is fine so I guess my stomach issues were really emotionally based. I do want to take a moment to thank everyone who has read my blog and the kind comments. I haven’t commented which has struck me by surprise since I am…
Sympathy Pains
I’m sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. About a week ago I started having stomach pain and strong exhaustion. I, uncharacteristically, do not have an appetite and I have lost 10 lbs in less than two weeks. At first I thought it was something I ate. A few days passed and I thought it was probably just a stomach bug. After a week…
History Repeats Itself All Too Often Too Soon
Since losing Tin, I look to each new week as a new horizon that will bring brighter days. This is my fourth post and I thought, maybe by now, my blog would have small sparks of settlement in the chaos. I guess it is good to hope but bad to assume. A very fine line that I often fail to recognize these days. I’ll keep the faith that those brighter…
The Wax and the Wayne
Another week past and overall things have been even keel. However the dreaded dates pile one on top of another. July 15th is Tin’s first birthday. July 4th is Tin’s and my anniversary and today, June 29th, 2018 is the first anniversary of my father Wayne’s passing. I know this writing is not based mainly on my lost partner Tin but it has a…
An Unexpected Return Home
Well I made it. I made it through the first wedding since Tin passed only two months ago and it was followed by the next day being the first Father’s Day without my father. There were times I couldn’t hold back the tears and times I couldn’t catch my breath. I felt like a stranded fish. How ironic to be a crying stranded fish that needs salt…
Navigating My New Normal
It’s been 7 shorts weeks since I lost my Partner of 4 yrs. – Clayton, or as my family calls him “Tin”. Right now I am sitting, ironically, at the Atlanta airport on a layover to go home to Boston for my cousin’s wedding. Tin and I met in Atlanta and left the city to move to the beach, get married and make a life. Everyone has been…
Open Wound
I wish I could report days of happiness and joy. But I can’t. I feel like I am walking around with an open wound. It’s been like this throughout the whole holiday season. This year feels worse than the past two years. Why am I crying so much? I suppose I can answer my own question. Michael loved Christmas. He loved Christmas not because he had so…
Hands
A simple photo opportunity. A day in the sun. A day with the one I love. Our hands. Proof that he is here for me. Proof that he exists here in my life. Proof that he offers his hand to me. I sit here looking at this innocent photo that I took today. My hand on his. His hand at ease. His hand already used to mine finding its way over to his. …
Bittersweet Christmas
I got up this morning with one important task to accomplish, decorate the front of the house with holiday lights. I’ve notice the number of houses in the neighborhood slowly being lit up with beautiful lights of every color. My daughter has been asking when we would show our holiday spirit by lighting up our house as well.As I don’t do anything…
Thankful
Two Thanksgiving celebrations down, and one to go. It’s been an interesting couple of days. Friday night I hosted an office Thanksgiving potluck at my home. Almost every person from the office came, along with their families. There was so much food, wine and desert, and everyone was in a very good mood. Most had hoped to meet Abel, and since he had…
Sunday
So this is the first occasion of my newly assigned day. Sunday. A day of sun, as I see it, is a true blessing. For so many of us, worry, hardship, and the basic toll of life, can really bring us down. When the weekend is upon us, we tend to wonder how much we can get accomplished on Saturday, and how we want to spend a day of leisure on Sunday.