in San Diego once again! The first Camp Widow showed up as “The First Annual National Conference on Widowhood.” Take a moment and consider that we’re celebrating the 16th year of Camp Widow this coming weekend. Many more than sixteen camps have endured. Add to that Canada and Australia—Wow! All major accomplishments that started […]
Summertime
and it is HOT in Riverside, California! Awakening to climbing temperatures that announce at 6:00 am another hot day on the way. I rise to turn on the fans. Oddly the first thought is about the heat and not about my widowed status. You see, there are many […]
It’s Time
Another death anniversary passed in April and here we are already in July. It’s time to honor our fifty-fith wedding anniversary coming up tomorrow. It is the privilege of a lifetime is to live, tell, and record the stories of our lives, Dan Neff. It is love on love on more love. […]
Marking Memories
The days are hot here in Riverside, CA and I am late to this page. Summer has a schedule of its own, school or not. It invites a slowness that I can tumble into; falling into it like falling into clouds. It’s hot and the a/c is my friend. Behind me, my dog and grand-dog […]
Following Father’s Day
Here you are on display so many years after the fact. Having been only four tiny pounds yourself, you grew larger than life. You had the strength to be immutable and the grace to be tender. Tough and Tender. A combination for life. Seeing this photo undoes me. Missing […]
Anatomy of a Problem.
I am raccoon-less, feeling grateful, and wondering about problems and solutions. Picture this. The Indian Ocean is splashing fiercely at the edge of a home during a storm. It quickly fills the bottom floor with sea water. Clearly a problem, right? Or not. Today, I googled “what are the problems people have?” with this […]
Watching and Waiting
The Raccoon Saga Continues I think they’re gone. As I examine the clues of how they arrived, it seems they are gone. The urgency I felt (fear?) and signs of their presence brought a low level panic in my psyche. Why? Because I love animals and even though I know their presence could be […]
The Dance of Life in the Garden
. . . and sometimes, under the house. It is in the garden that life and death arrive on the regular. I witness living and dying primarily in the plants, grasses and weeds that come and go. I’m ever aware that when I pay attention, the garden is a valuable teacher. As a small […]
A Personal Eclipse
On April 4th, I ordered my eclipse glasses in preparation for the 2024 Solar Eclipse. Although I knew that the best places to observe were Texas, Mexico, and Canada, I would be settling for my patio in Riverside, CA. I donned my funky glasses and looked toward the sun which showed up as a fat, […]
Comparing Grief Confessions
[today’s view in contrast to 166+ days out . . .] Hi Babe, It’s been 166 days, 22 hours, 32 minutes and 16 seconds since you left. [it is now 1,126 days since he left . . .] The clock ticks on as I write, rendering the time estimate incorrect seconds after […]
The Many Masks of Grief
. . . my story What am I feeling? Bad. I feel bad. Am I experiencing this feeling from a lack of sleep? Have I eaten? I’m feeling depressed. Is this feeling related to another step in my grief? Another reality check? (I check the calendar…is this an anniversary my body is remembering?) […]
An Eye Opener:
Worldwide Widowed Communities What took me to stories about widowed folk around the world? Just returned from a mini-vacay where I had no responsibilities other than showing up for the fun. Arriving home to my regular routine, settling into the normal challenges of my post-Dan-life, I found myself wondering about the lives of […]